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OPEN ON shot of woman changing a baby's diaper, looking as if she is about to pass outfromthe smell. The woman is wearing no makeup, her hair is messy and she is wearing an apron that is falling off her shoulders. ANNOUNCER (VOICEOVER): Oh, those putrid odors! CUT TO … [Read more...]
In my nightmare, a woman is pointing a gun. Still fuzzy upon awakening, I am relieved. I'm alive! Wait, what's that? My nightgown is wet. Blood? Heart pounding, I switch on the night light. No, the hot water bottle has burst and soaked me, the sheets and the mattress. Rising from … [Read more...]
I don't know how to break it to those poor guys in California, but we are drowning in water back east. We have so much water that just this morning, I took a bubble bath just to watch the bubbles burst -- and create a few extra bubbles, too. Governor Brown declared a water … [Read more...]
1. All right, first thing’s first: how drunk are you? Ok, not bad. But, are you wasted enough to walk over to a living, breathing woman and engage her in a conversation? I didn’t think so. 2. Drink more. 3. Scope out the area. Her? No, that’s clearly a spray tan. … [Read more...]
I think someone is spying on me. How else can I explain why, whenever I buy ANYTHING, the price is guaranteed to drop the next day, if not sooner? This works for gas, groceries, clothing, doesn't really matter. That's why I'm convinced someone is following me, just waiting to … [Read more...]