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I know that parents wear many hats—Nurse, Teacher, Police Man, Taxi Driver, Midnight Diapernator—but I must have missed the chapter that describes the overwhelming duties of Tradition Keeper. This job comes with a ceremonial headdress that only an anthropologist could love. Over … [Read more...]
My speech today is about the challenges facing today’s budding humor writers. It’s also only about 750 words long, so there will be no need for any impatient coughing from the audience. What else is it? Actually it could be used as a tutorial to help you win a prize for some kind … [Read more...]
Not many myths about him are true. Sure, he wears the red suit, has that white beard, and he is plump. Disgustingly so. And, yeah, I’ve heard him, “Ho, ho,” a couple of times–after he’s had too much eggnog. But he’s not jolly and his eyes don’t twinkle. They glow with an evil … [Read more...]
I finally tried the Pretend Surfing/Sinus-Cleaner-Outer/Ballistic Enema machine at the new pool on the weekend. It’s an artificial wave thing that has jets of water shooting up a curved incline, directly into your nasal passages. What we beginners are supposed to do is lay belly … [Read more...]
“Compassion and mercy are about upholding the beliefs that we seek to live by, remaining true to our values as a people. No matter the severity of the provocation or the atrocity perpetrated.” —Kenny MacAskill, Scottish Justice Minister, on the release of Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed … [Read more...]