Have Fun! Get Published! Win Cash Prizes! ™
I fear that I am becoming one of “those people”. You’ve probably heard of “those people” before; they partake in a particular activity that for whatever reason you find a bit odd. Rather than attempt to understand why “those people” choose to behave the way they do, you shake … [Read more...]
“911 operator, how can I help you? “Help… I’d like to report a robbery,” I said wiping the tears from my eyes. “The address is 36-40-36 Flabby Way.” Next thing I knew, I was explaining what happened to Officer Barney Fife from the “Missing Body Parts Unit.” “Ma’am, can you … [Read more...]
I hate shopping! I would rather perform laser eye surgery on myself or extract a wisdom tooth with a pair of pliers, than go shopping. On the other hand, my wife believes that she was born at Harrods, is a graduate of the JC Penney Academy and she is destined to become a founding … [Read more...]
I once spent the month of January alone in a wilderness cabin. It was a fishing “lodge” owned by my buddy Bayonet Delhue, and it came equipped with goat-sized mice, teeth-chattering drafts, and an outhouse haunted by the angry ghost of a long-dead fur trapper. My goals were to … [Read more...]
I didn't do drugs in the seventies. In an era when you could do time for doing thyme, to not do drugs was strictly a personal decision, not really a moral issue. Luckily, I never had to apologize for my non-peer pressure attitude. I was in the Coast Guard, I was everybody's … [Read more...]