Last week, my wife and I were painting her mother's house. I lack both the skill and the wardrobe to be a good house painter, which is fine because I also lack the inclination. I have never seen the point in having more than one pair of shoes, and I can't bring myself to ruin a … [Read more...]

As a freelance writer, I’ve written nonfiction articles for glossy magazines and a zillion websites. I can craft a 1,000-word information piece so fast it’d make your eyeballs spin like a slot machine. You’d be so engrossed in my irrigation article, you’d dig up the azaleas to … [Read more...]

My Mother-in-law neglected to warn me my husband was born taking a nap. Upon arrival, his sleepful state was doubtless undisturbed by the ceremonial spank of the attending physician. If indeed a responsive cry ensued, the wail surely expressed, "If anyone calls, don't wake me … [Read more...]

’m about to make fun of something so scary that if I didn’t make fun of it, I’d be curled up under my bed trembling and chewing my fingernails down to the nub. It’s, dare I say it –- BIRD FLU. Now, while it’s not my intention to minimize impending doom, the warnings issued to … [Read more...]

Polyester double-knit burst onto the 70s fashion scene in the shape of men’s leisure suits, spongy backed trench coats, shirts and neckties. Inexpensive, beefy waffle-weaves and plaid designs in every imaginable color with large buttons and wide lapels costumed men across all … [Read more...]