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Another Contraband Days festival has come and gone here in Lake Charles. The Buccaneers who seized the city for the duration have returned control to its duly elected officials. Here in Louisiana, this of course means that it is back in the hands of real pirates. During … [Read more...]
This started out as a bad year. In less than 6 months, I lost my job, condominium, car and girlfriend. Even the cat packed up her litter box and left. When my parents heard the bad news, they immediately snapped into action: they fled to Boca Raton and dropped me from their … [Read more...]
The annual Utah Deer Hunt, also known as Daddy’s New Bullet Hole Scar Shooting Contest, attracts deer for hundreds of miles. The prize goes to the wife of the first heart attack victim. The infarction must have occurred while camping drunk during a snowstorm in the woods after … [Read more...]
NEWS BULLETIN: Washington takes action! The President announced today that he was going to take action and this action would clarify the situation at hand. When pressed on what action and what situation, the White House issued a statement that by stating the President was … [Read more...]
True story: In 1993, pressured by animal rights groups, General Motors finally ended its decade-long practice of using live animals (dogs, rabbits, pigs, ferrets, mice) to test the effects of car crashes. Yes, they were putting sedated animals into cars, crashing them, … [Read more...]