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“I’ll be damned if I’m gonna be another chubby, bleached-blonde soccer mom driving her kids around in a mini-van with one hand on the steering wheel and a Big Mac in the other.” I believe those were my exact words after living a childless lifestyle for forty years when welcoming … [Read more...]
Help! “What now?” my husband called from the other room. “I’mcaughtinmysweater.” “Huh,” he hollered. “I can’t make out what you’re saying.” How could he? I had a bulky sweater stuck over my head and face, blocking my mouth and thus my ability to speak coherently. The reason I … [Read more...]
"After hearing the evidence, I will record a verdict of natural causes." -- John Owen "After smelling the evidence, I will record a verdict of natural causes." -- Jeff Brown As I took Arlo for a walk this morning, I was deeply disturbed by the amount of (how shall I put this?) … [Read more...]
My coworkers, and one watchful office consultant, had heard the insult escape from my lips. I apologized for the verbal slip. It was only a small moment of weakness. What I had said was not a reflection of my personal views about the less fortunate creatures of the earth. Yes, … [Read more...]
Every guy agrees that being married to a girl with an amazing body and ugly face is better than being espoused to a girl with a cute face and obese body. Allow me to paint a mental image of what being with each of these girls would be like. On one hand, a girl with smoking hot … [Read more...]