I turned 57 today, and I'm not too happy about it. Everything about getting old is bad, at least physically. I just got back from our annual family reunion (see my Pulitzer Prize-losing article, Reunions Aren't for Sissies) and when my brothers and I lined up for the family … [Read more...]

News from the Future The funeral business has always been considered immune to economic slowdowns. Death doesn’t take a vacation during a recession. But now the industry faces a trend that could eat away at its armor for decades to come; fewer and fewer people are dying. These … [Read more...]

Analysis and Critique I’m good at some things and terrible at others. I can’t sing and I can’t cook. I know enough to refrain from the first and to keep the second as simple as possible. I’m good with my hands and I can do a lot of things that other people cannot. I can … [Read more...]

A Personal Message from DoomSayersDirect.com Dear Recipient: We are sorry to inform you that your present situation has reached an unsatisfying (for you) conclusion. Although (because yours is a secured file), we are not privy to information on the type of relationship in … [Read more...]

I found a cryptic note in the laundry room the other day, pinned haphazardly to a well-worn bath towel on the floor. It said: “Dear lady of the house—I am your towel. And I’m throwing myself in.” I couldn’t believe what I was reading! My towels and I have been together for a … [Read more...]