"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR!"TM SHOWCASE
Check Out Our Humor Writing Contest Results!
Congratulations to the Winners, Finalists, Semi-Finalists & Honorable Mentions in our
April-May 2008
Writing Contest!
Click any headline below to see the full entry, then scroll up or down to see other entries in the group.
All entries are carefully reviewed based on our exclusive "H-U-M-O-R"SM judging criteria:
- H = Humor -- Does it make us laugh?
- U = Universality -- Is it fairly "clean"?
- M = Moxie -- Does it have plenty of zing?
- O = Originality -- Is it fresh and new?
- R = 'Riting -- Is it well-'ritten?
(OK, "Writing," but we couldn't judge entries on their "H-U-M-O-W", could we?)
You, too, can get in on the fun, get published and win your share of $250.00 in prize money!
Enter "America's Funniest Humor"TMWriting Contest to claim (or regain) a spot in our Humor Showcase!
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April-May 2008 WINNERS...
(CLICK ANY TITLE TO SEE ENTRY)
From Parietal to Plumper
By Mary Tompsett,
Woohooo! My sweaty fist holds a $600 tax rebate, thanks to (a) Uncle Sam; (b) countries who passed the basket to lend us the moolah;
Fee-quent Flying
By Joel Schwartzberg,
In June, American Airlines began charging passengers $15 for the first checked bag on domestic flights. AA (which should stand for Antagonistic Airways) already has
Only If You Can't Get Anyone Else
By E. Mitchell,
I am an unsuccessful slacker. I waste tremendous amounts of energy in futile attempts to do nothing. At any meeting I’m always the one in
Disconnected
By Linda R. Cook,
January 2, 2016
Years of living in an all male household can take a toll on a mom. In the early years, you get through the belch battles,
Half An Hour, Tops
By Mary Tompsett,
This story was inspired by the home repair adventures of two friends – average folks – who shall remain anonymous.* For ease in reading, I
April-May 2008 FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Fighting Derby
By Dan Bain,
I’ve been sensitive lately about gender stereotypes. Why is “soccer mom” the preferred term? Why is it assumed that moms should have that loathsome duty?
Marry Merrily
By Burton Cole,,
Why are we even discussing gay marriages? It's obvious that a gay marriage can’t be right. I've been an accomplice in friends' marriages and I
Summer Games Need To Shop A Bargain Event
By Burton Cole,,
I’ve tried to understand. Really, I have. But honestly, shopping is NOT a competitive sport. If it was, I’m certain it would be an event
Woman Endures Bad Hair Day For The Sake Of Airport Security
By Vicky DeCoster,
The last time I flew in an airplane, Monica Lewinsky and Linda Tripp were good friends. Times have changed. Airline regulations are designed to keep
Competitive Tranquility
By Lucia Duff,
There is no easy way to break this to you: competitive yoga exists. I’ve told you, and I’m sorry about that. Feel free to clutch
“I’m Either Away From My Desk, On The Other Line, Or...”
By Joel Habush,
Or what? You want me to think that you’re either too busy or too important to answer your phone? You think if you don’t answer,
Throwing Tantrums
By Patricia McNamee-Rosenberg,
I thought my years in the social work and counseling field had prepared me to handle our teenage sons. But after weeks of asking our
A Hidden Gem
By Tom Oatmeal,
The restaurant itself bears no formal numeric address. It sits snugly against the back wall of a weathered brick building leased to a tattoo parlor.
April-May 2008 SEMI-FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
All The Plants I've Killed
By Linda Marie Dugger,
I have a confession to make. I am a serial killer of plants. Not intentionally, of course, but any plant that ever came to live
Standing on the Shoulders of Midgets
By Richard Eimer,
Didn’t a brilliant man named Isaac Newton once say if a professional midget wrestler has seen far it is by standing on the shoulders of
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
By Faith Foyil,
When I was in 7th grade, my neighbor, Robin, climbed onto the school bus one Monday morning sporting a mop of hair so greasy you
An Apple A Day Keeps The Cheeseburger Away
By Christine Gauvreau,
My doctor told me to lose some weight. For this pearl of medical wisdom, I spent two hours reading outdated magazines in his outdated waiting
Adaptation Is For The Birds
By Jennifer Graham,
At the entrance of our local grocery, you will find an antiquated and all but abandoned contraption mounted to the wall. It is not the
Leaves of Three, Let Them Be
By Jennifer Graham,
I think from time to time we all do things we know aren't good for us. It's just part of the human condition to take
Ha! In YOUR Face!
By Victoria Milillo,
"Ha! I win again! In your face!" My husband, Michael, stood up, arms raised overhead, and turned around to face his imaginary adoring fans. His
Classical Gas
By Glenn Parkhurst,
It woke me up in the middle of the night causing me to search frantically for the source of the foulness before I realized it
A Walk on the Wild Side
By Judi Veoukas,
If memory serves me correctly, and it seldom does, the builder of our development said something about a future hiking path becoming a key feature
April-May 2008 HONORABLE MENTIONS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Think Outside The Crate
By Jennifer Angelo,
January 2, 2016
Exiting the sliding doors of my local Target, I knew I’d stepped over the line. I hadn’t broken any laws, like the one in Alaska
Dad's Work
By Dewey Cassell,
January 2, 2016
My son, who is studying "community helpers" in kindergarten, came up to me the other day and asked, "Dad, what do you do at work?"
Bold And Beautiful Rams Save Our Grandkids’ Backside
By Burton Cole,,
January 2, 2016
In case you’re behind on your genetic engineering updates, scientists isolated the gene that causes big-bottomed sheep. This, they say, will help their ongoing quest
Put Upon By Carry-On
By Lucia Duff,
January 2, 2016
Many people are talking these days about the sacrifices some wives make in the name of their husband’s career. There are times, as a wife,
The Bathroom
By Jean Follmer,
January 2, 2016
It was our monthly Moms Night Out and the evening was starting to fade. We’d reached the usual point where Penelope had lost track of
From Humiliation To Joy
By Kimberly Keenan,
January 2, 2016
The joy of eccentricity profits with age. As a child, anything slightly diverse can be cause of humiliation as was my life growing up in
Five Days Gone, But Who's Counting?
By Leslie Lange,
January 2, 2016
It’s been five days, nine hours, 12 minutes and 34…35…36…seconds… 39…40… since my daughter left for college. I cannot believe she’s going to college. I
Flunking Car Seat 101
By Sue Anna Langenberg,
January 2, 2016
Sure, I went to school and somehow along the way got a four-year degree. Like most college students pursuing an academic goal, I had to
What You See Is WHAT?
By Carol MacAllister,
January 2, 2016
Our family is full of great sayings: that and a nickel gets you a cup of coffee: Get ready – hold your teeth: Don’t believe
Could You Hold Please?
By Lesley Marijke McCandless,
January 2, 2016
For the last 20 years, I have been self-employed as a freelance ... well, anything: writer, mediator, purchaser, project manager, director of marketing. My office
Coffee Logic
By Marina Richards,
January 2, 2016
Hubbie dropped me off at the Super Hardware Store because I wanted to buy some paint for a project I was working on. Yes, a
Frozen Turkey Vacations In Hawaii
By Shawn Underwood,
January 2, 2016
What is it about the seventy-plus generation and packing for a trip? How many suitcases full of bathing suits and light summer wear does one
My Dance Partner Is A Broom
By Dara Lyon Warner,
January 2, 2016
I am a North Carolina State Bar certified paralegal, educated as such in a program approved by the American Bar Association, and holding a couple
That Girl's Just Not Right
By Kathleen M. Wooton, M.D.,
January 2, 2016
A Canadian radio host slash humorist attended a three day writers’ workshop. The hotel she stayed in had comfortable accommodations, good food, and great company
How To Vote Twice. Legally.
By Kali Karagias,
January 2, 2016
I’m no crook or criminal. I don’t deliberately cheat the system although sometimes I make honest mistakes that make me look like I cheat the
Congratulations To EVERYONE Who Entered!
If your entry was not recognized this time, please don't give up! Writing humor is a specialized craft, and it takes time and effort to master any craft.
- Some entries were well-written, but needed more work setting up the humor and punching up the punch lines. Try structuring your work with distinct set-ups and punch lines throughout the piece.
- Other entries had plenty of punch, but relied on coarseness or vulgarity, which limited their potential readership. Try writing as if your piece were for a daily newspaper to achieve the most universal appeal.
However, just by entering you made a great effort and we commend you for it! (You already did better than those who just thought about entering, but didn't even try!)
We hope you will enter again and look forward to seeing more of your work!
Enjoy more award-winning humor in our exclusive Humor Showcase:
Winners | Finalists | Semi-Finalists | Honorable Mentions
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