Little Maggie was my best friend. I sure will miss her. I was sure she would be safe in the toilet. It was just a routine goldfish bowl cleaning. I screamed in horror when I forgot and flushed. Denial always comes first. I thought: "She's just frolicking in the septic tank. … [Read more...]
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"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM SHOWCASE
1st/2nd Quarter 2015 Humor Writing Contest Results!
"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM SHOWCASE
June/July 2005 Humor Writing Contest Results!
Have You Met My Cousin, Feng Shui?
New age stuff sells. I know because I've bought most of it. For me a "yes," "no," or "try again later" answer to major life decisions isnβt enough. To discover my cosmic life purpose I had my natal chart progressed and past life regressed. Turns out I was either Vlad the … [Read more...]
"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM SHOWCASE
December 2005-January 2006 Humor Writing Contest Results!
Calling In Sick
Iβm not writing a column today. My headβs in a vice and someone installed wall-to-wall carpeting on my tongue. My eyes resemble those of the dead fish in my kidsβ aquarium (Donβt worry boys, Mr. Fish Sticks is just taking a very long nap). My bones crackle when I move and my … [Read more...]
"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM SHOWCASE
April - May 2006 Humor Writing Contest Results!
My Kingdom For A Lego
I was driving along a strange highway, passing a ramp to the Manson Family farm, when my baby son began to cry. Pulling over, ignoring the feral pack of wolves near the Stuckeyβs sign, I opened the vanβs back door. He had dropped his pacifier. Unfortunately, he saw it in my … [Read more...]
"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM SHOWCASE
1st/2nd Quarter 2015 Humor Writing Contest Results!
How To Conversate
Ever find yourself with people you don't know and who are sitting, standing, line dancing, or sky diving right next to you? There is usually an extremely awkward silence that you would give anything to break. This happens a lot in everyday, ordinary situations, like the … [Read more...]
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