From Black Friday to New Year’s Day, I consciously avoid the inside of stores that have the annoying type of Christmas music piped through overhead speakers—Walmart in particular. Unarguably, “The Twelve Days of Christmas” is the most irritating Christmas tune on the planet. If … [Read more...]
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"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM SHOWCASE
3rd/4th Quarter 2015 Humor Writing Contest Results!
"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM SHOWCASE
OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2005 Humor Writing Contest Results!
Fresnitis
One of the most divisive issues in America's modern political landscape is the problem of Fresno birth. No other question so enrages the Front Wing or brings out the Back-Wing bleeding hearts. The biblical injunction in Hiawatha 7:42 is unambiguous: “Neither shall ye suffer one … [Read more...]
"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM SHOWCASE
August-September 2008 Humor Writing Contest Results!
Here’s What Really Happened
People always ask me: How did you get that burn on your hand? Did you fall asleep next to a lit stove? Did you get too close to a roman candle at a Fourth of July party? But I merely reply, "No, it's from sulphuric acid." It happened on my way home when I was still in high … [Read more...]
"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM SHOWCASE
4TH QUARTER 2013 Humor Writing Contest Results!
How To Be Human
About Being human isn’t as easy as it used to be; it now requires gadgetry. Speaking as one who can barely operate a can-opener without risk of dismemberment, I would like to formally protest the ever-escalating onslaught of technological frippery that threatens far more than … [Read more...]
"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM SHOWCASE
February-March 2006 Humor Writing Contest Results!
Our Morning Routine: What Mommy Says and What They Hear
What Mommy Says: “Boys, it’s time to get ready for school. Shut that TV off, please, and let’s get your teeth brushed.” What They Hear: “Boys, why don’t you race each other to the TV, please, knock those drinks off the coffee table, and trip over each other in an effort to be … [Read more...]
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