When you you buy a new computer, there is a 24 hour hotline to assist you when your machine malfunctions. After a very stressful morning out with my two young children, I wondered what it would be like if such a hotline existed for parents. The following dialogue is the result … [Read more...]
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"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM SHOWCASE
April-May 2007 Humor Writing Contest Results!
"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM SHOWCASE
August /-September 2006 Humor Writing Contest Results!
Confessions Of A Breastfeeding Failure
“Please, Baby. Please eat.” I droned to her tiny, flailing body. But, it was no use. What is wrong with me? I thought, beginning to panic myself. No matter what I tried, my perfect new baby found by breasts absolutely loathsome. Glancing down at the grotesquely engorged lumps … [Read more...]
"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM SHOWCASE
December 2006-January 2007 Humor Writing Contest Results!
Dishes, Arms, and the Azimuth Bear
We sure haven’t come very far, have we? What was I doing after adding yet another component to my stack of overheating television set-top boxes? Standing outside whacking my satellite dish with a wrench. In a previous fit of techno-rage I had tried to remove the dish completely. … [Read more...]
"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM SHOWCASE
August /-September 2006 Humor Writing Contest Results!
Dueling Dieters
“Honey,” my husband said one morning, “The scale is broken. It says I weigh three pounds more than I should.” I walked into our bathroom and stepped on the scale. “You’re right!” I gasped. “I’m five pounds over!” I drove to the store and bought a new scale. I hopped on first … [Read more...]
"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM SHOWCASE
August /-September 2006 Humor Writing Contest Results!
It’s Official: I Am No Longer a Princess
There comes a time in all women's lives when they must be completely honest with themselves and realize that it's time to move on. Things of the past are no longer appropriate, or fitting, especially in the crotch. That's right, I'm talking about pantyhose. To attend a recent … [Read more...]
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