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It is day four of backpacking in Colorado’s Holy Cross Range. I’m authoring from inside the butter-yellow walls of my Marmot tent, alone. Not because I’m a misanthrope but because all of my friends are locked in a prolonged state of camping procrastination stretching over 25 … [Read more...]
I love Ash Wednesday. It’s the only day where it’s socially acceptable to walk outside with a filthy face. The effects of this holy day are best experienced down in the Wall Street section of Manhattan. Men in Saville Row suits and women in floor-length mink coats walk around … [Read more...]
The kids all want to go to Disneyland, but I don’t see what the big deal is. I mean, it’s not like we don’t ever go anywhere fun. Don’t they remember Laundryland? “Mom, this is BORING.” “Hey, now I just paid EIGHT quarters for you to view the wash through a front loading … [Read more...]
People stare at my wife dumbfounded when she tells them I’m the chef in the relationship. Upon hearing such astonishing, gender-defying news, they all say the same thing: “Who are you and why do you keep following me around the mall?” The fact is, though, that men who cook are … [Read more...]
The difference is not an easily memorable phone number or a simple address, but the length of our names. Say, for the sake of argument, that there is a person named Tim Fu. Tim’s name would have a grand total of five letters, giving him a significant advantage in life over … [Read more...]