There is sits, ladies and gentlemen, in all its succulent tradition, rich in history, rich in legend, and rich in calories and carbohydrates. Note, if you will, the gleaming burnt umber coloration of the surface, a surface that only hints at the luscious compacted mass … [Read more...]

I am more than halfway through a series of 12 Yoga classes. The brochure said it was for beginners. You’d think I would be getting the hang of it by now. I’m not. Our instructor is a willowy, 20-something, rubbery-limbed woman on stilts. She’s about six feet tall (five of those … [Read more...]

This is why all restaurants should have baby changing stations in their restrooms. I was having a fine tuna sandwich at a nice lunchroom with my toddler, who was hogging the straw to my raspberry iced tea, when she announced poop. She does that like this: she walks up to me, … [Read more...]

A fly landed smack in my eye. It was most inconvenient because I was driving at the time. I shouted at it, swatted at it, screamed at it. It did not budge. So, dedicated employee that I was, I drove on to work, albeit with one eye shut. “Only half-awake, are we today?,” … [Read more...]

once thought I would need “help.” I don’t mean the professional kind with a couch in an office. I mean the help as in Mary Poppins or Alice Nelson from “The Brady Bunch.” In all of my dreams of motherhood, I assumed that with five perfect children who never fought and who … [Read more...]