“I don’t care what the vacuum cleaner just sucked up “ has been my motto. I do try and eyeball plastic parts that could harm the motor, but unless I see or smell smoke or the rollers stop moving, I never give it a second thought. (Ok, there was one time LAST month when I was … [Read more...]

I cannot seem to find a man, but there is never a shortage of little old ladies in my life. Little Old Ladies – (LOLs) reside in the apartment above me, below me, across the hall from me, and in other buildings. Thanks to my landlord, LOLs have heard I am a nice person and will … [Read more...]

I have more embarrassing moments than your average bear. It's the defining feature of my life, the essence of my core, ever propelling me to new frontiers of personal humiliation. On a scale of one to ten, the magnitude of my blunders can fall anywhere between three and … [Read more...]

New Infantry® Clothing Manufactory’s underwear division, Atomic Wedgies®, just announced their new patented line of nether wear for both men and women. The new line called Maxims (named for Hiram Maxim) will be virtually the same in every respect to current designs. All popular … [Read more...]

Bypassed clogs, wired up chest, chicken wire stents, balloon veins attest, Food tracks stain the front of my clothes Can’t bend well, a few numb toes. Pacemaker counts every darn beat, insulin pump spritzing each treat. Sleep mask pushes air up my nose, bite guard at night, it … [Read more...]