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I am sure that my younger sister has attention deficit disorder. Yes, I know she is thirty five. I don’t care. I swear this is her problem. I offer as proof a recent phone conversation I attempted to have with her. I am not sure whether or not she ever actually absorbed the … [Read more...]
I was on the couch the other night watching one of those reality shows (the kind I claim to despise) when a mountain lion attacked me. The savage creature leapt up and ravaged my arm right when I was about to discover which obnoxious person was getting voted off. Just latched … [Read more...]
A year after Adam and Eve's premature, Biblical departure from the Garden of Eden, the chief income tax agent in Edenton province called Adam to his cave to discuss their joint income tax return. "I'm sorry to call you in like this," the agent began, "but we don't have … [Read more...]
My day-old career as a substitute teacher ended shortly after Labor Day, when a sophomore biology student fainted during the introductory blood-typing demo, soiling her wardrobe in the process. Her underachieving but clever classmates took wild advantage, feigning panic and … [Read more...]
Reality television show producers, proudly noting they invented the concept of obscure Americans competing in tight, skimpy outfits for glory and lucrative contracts way before the Olympics came around to it, are capitalizing on Olympics fever by throwing out their existing Fall … [Read more...]