"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR!"TM SHOWCASE
Check Out Our Humor Writing Contest Results!
Congratulations to the Winners, Finalists, Semi-Finalists & Honorable Mentions in our
JUNE/ JULY 2012
Writing Contest!
Click any headline below to see the full entry, then scroll up or down to see other entries in the group.
All entries are carefully reviewed based on our exclusive "H-U-M-O-R"SM judging criteria:
- H = Humor -- Does it make us laugh?
- U = Universality -- Is it fairly "clean"?
- M = Moxie -- Does it have plenty of zing?
- O = Originality -- Is it fresh and new?
- R = 'Riting -- Is it well-'ritten?
(OK, "Writing," but we couldn't judge entries on their "H-U-M-O-W", could we?)
You, too, can get in on the fun, get published and win your share of $250.00 in prize money!
Enter "America's Funniest Humor"TMWriting Contest to claim (or regain) a spot in our Humor Showcase!
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JUNE/ JULY 2012 WINNERS...
(CLICK ANY TITLE TO SEE ENTRY)
Ya'll
By Kevin Udell,
Being born just slightly north of Georgia (by approximately 1200 miles), I can't say "y’all" without sounding like a complete idiot. I also can’t spell
If You Want My Advice
By Joel Habush,
If you want my advice...you’re in deep trouble. The same goes for anyone else's relationship advice, for that matter. “But what do I do when
Rigoletto Comes To Utah
By David Woodside,
I somehow attended the Utah Opera’s 2012 production of Rigoletto. It reminded me of the New York Metropolitan Opera where I saw many performances as
Three Ways To Spot A Tourist
By Carl Megill,
January 2, 2016
The Memorial Day weekend is behind us and you know what that means. It means they need to come up with a way to make
The Supreme Evidence
By Carlos Arnade,
Recently, the U.S. Supreme Court declared that corporations are people, can donate money to political campaigns, and thus, remind the American public that politicians are
JUNE/ JULY 2012 FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Volatile Science
By Carlos Arnade,
My coworkers, and one watchful office consultant, had heard the insult escape from my lips. I apologized for the verbal slip. It was only a
The Great Preference Debate
By Matthew Baggott,
Every guy agrees that being married to a girl with an amazing body and ugly face is better than being espoused to a girl with
An Inside Look At Career Management
By Vincent Bracco,
A successful career is often the result of a careful plan built around clear goals. Too often, one of these is missing. Sometimes both are
Glaring Errors
By Joel Habush,
“You wanted to see me, boss?” “Yes, yes, come in, my boy. I understand your Research and Development team is to be congratulated. Sales figures
Password Confessions
By Mary Tompsett,
Surely, I’m not the only person who’s been logging overtime in the cyber torture chamber of not remembering computer passwords. Early on I came up
JUNE/ JULY 2012 SEMI-FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
The College Campus Civil War
By Zack Pinsky,
Like many universities across the country, my alma mater Washington University in St. Louis is currently in the midst of a civil war. You won't
Granny Theft Auto
By Lloyd S,
Edna Braskowitz was arrested last night for auto theft, speeding, driving without license, driving without insurance and recklessness. Mrs. Raskowitz was clocked at 120 MPH
Am I Blogging Now?!
By Cathy Turney,
Undaunted by the millions of comments on Yahoo proving that everything that could be said about a topic has already been said by someone, or
Coach-of-All-Sports
By Linda Zern,
“He needs to get his blade on the ice.” Looking over at my husband, I tried to decide if he had one or two chocolate
I Lost My Voice
By J. Eldon Baker,
Never visit a gentlemen’s club if you have laryngitis, never. But before I lay down the “411” on why not, let us first ask the
Mean Noodles
By Cy Creed,
Have you ever seen something so offensive you lose your appetite? Well, maybe not lose your appetite completely. How about diminish it somewhat? Or maybe
Girl So Thinks She's A Character In Some WB Show. Tsk.
By Bill Lawrence,
Sixteen year old Chelsea Winters is an attractive, dark haired girl with fashion sense and a dazzling smile. She is smart, ambitious and well liked
Things Doctors Never Tell You
By Dr. David Margolis,
Mrs. Toodle, I have no idea why you pass so much gas. If I had a remedy for that, I’d be using it myself and
JUNE/ JULY 2012 HONORABLE MENTIONS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Little Green Men
By Marcia Amey,
January 2, 2016
Mom and I were the only two people inside the house on a warm summer afternoon in the year nineteen hundred and sixty five. Mom
My Surgical Experience and the Olympic Spirit
By Sally Bartlett,
January 2, 2016
I am a 71 year old female. I don't exercise as I should; and I am twenty pounds over my comfortable (not ideal) weight. However,
Paris, City of Love and Heavy Lifting
By Andrea B,
January 2, 2016
My friend returned from Paris. I immediately asked her how she finds the city under a new, socialist president as I am a serious, dedicated
Got Tickets?
By Timothy Hurley,
January 2, 2016
“Harold, do you have the tickets?” The subway entrance was just in front of us. “Got the tickets,” I replied patting my breast pocket. “What
Age Denying
By Christa McKibben,
January 2, 2016
At 43 I am now beyond the age when some people consider lying about their age. I have been turning it over in my mind
Man vs. Squirrel
By Christa McKibben,
January 2, 2016
My husband bought the first of many bird feeders a few years ago and for a while there was battle raging in our backyard. He
Password Pains
By Kathy Minicozzi,
January 2, 2016
Checking her emails wasn’t usually a cause of agony for Polly Pastoretti, but tonight was different. “Damn it!” She shook her head, let it fall
Gatekeeper of the Photos
By Cathy Turney,
January 2, 2016
Americans are being held hostage in their own homes! It’s rampant. It’s insidious. The very foundation of life as we know it today — the
Really Bad (Writing) Chick Lit
By Cathy Turney,
January 2, 2016
Once upon a time, it was a dark and stormy night. Not a creature was stirring, not even a …* Hold it!!! Who’s That Knocking
Congratulations To EVERYONE Who Entered!
If your entry was not recognized this time, please don't give up! Writing humor is a specialized craft, and it takes time and effort to master any craft.
- Some entries were well-written, but needed more work setting up the humor and punching up the punch lines. Try structuring your work with distinct set-ups and punch lines throughout the piece.
- Other entries had plenty of punch, but relied on coarseness or vulgarity, which limited their potential readership. Try writing as if your piece were for a daily newspaper to achieve the most universal appeal.
However, just by entering you made a great effort and we commend you for it! (You already did better than those who just thought about entering, but didn't even try!)
We hope you will enter again and look forward to seeing more of your work!
Enjoy more award-winning humor in our exclusive Humor Showcase:
Winners | Finalists | Semi-Finalists | Honorable Mentions
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- Entries should be 750 words or less.
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