"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR!"TM SHOWCASE
Check Out Our Humor Writing Contest Results!
Congratulations to the Winners, Finalists, Semi-Finalists & Honorable Mentions in our
June-July 2007
Writing Contest!
Click any headline below to see the full entry, then scroll up or down to see other entries in the group.
All entries are carefully reviewed based on our exclusive "H-U-M-O-R"SM judging criteria:
- H = Humor -- Does it make us laugh?
- U = Universality -- Is it fairly "clean"?
- M = Moxie -- Does it have plenty of zing?
- O = Originality -- Is it fresh and new?
- R = 'Riting -- Is it well-'ritten?
(OK, "Writing," but we couldn't judge entries on their "H-U-M-O-W", could we?)
You, too, can get in on the fun, get published and win your share of $250.00 in prize money!
Enter "America's Funniest Humor"TMWriting Contest to claim (or regain) a spot in our Humor Showcase!
Join The Fun! Enter Our Humor Writing Contest Today!
June-July 2007 WINNERS...
(CLICK ANY TITLE TO SEE ENTRY)
Notes On Finding A Mate
By Chris Adkins,
(Editor's Note: Chris A. decided he wanted his last name shown after all!) People often say to me, “Chris, how did a slack-jawed knuckle-dragger like
The Running Man
By Matthew Foley,
My suburban sedentary lifestyle was taking its' toll around my midsection. So I challenged myself to start a daily running program. I tried to recall
Take No Prisoners
By Chris Adkins,
(Editor's Note: Chris A. decided he wanted his last name shown after all!) I was pretty competitive as a kid (no one could smoke more
Whose Price is Right?
By Joel Schwartzberg,
January 2, 2016
Now that Drew Carey has been named to replace Bob Barker on "The Price is Right," producers have recently released their audition remarks about recent
A Small Pill A Day Keeps The Bomb Squad Away
By Kathleen Norton McNulty,
There comes a time when a woman’s hormones start fleeing her body faster than a man can click past Lifetime or he can lie when
June-July 2007 FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Plans
By Natalie V.,
I had a life plan once. It covered everything from ideal career paths to names for my future children (first Jackson, and then Ella Marie.)
Why Did The Bird Cross The Road?
By Joyce West,
I’ve been bird watching lately. Not the kind of bird watching with a field guide in hand, trying to identify various migrating fowl, listening for
Ring, Ring A Song
By Burton Cole,,
I have offered up many excuses as to why I am one of two people left in America who does not carry a cell phone.
Tall Tales On A Short Bike
By Burton Cole,,
Today’s story is the strange tale of a midlife crisis, a motorcycle, an electric fence and horse droppings. And I want to emphasize here that
For Sale: Previously Unused Unmet POTENTIAL
By Laurissa Doonan,
Each person is born into this world with seemingly unlimited potential. I have recently been sorting through my life and have come across this whole
Dr. Mom...a PhD on Life
By Laurie Fabrizio,
Recently, I was in line to renew my driver’s license at the DMV. A young mother was struggling to keep her toddler from ripping the
Scythe Matters
By Chuck McKay,
Since planting our first garden last year, we have learned a ton about what it takes to grow vegetables: 1)You can't just stick cucumbers and
Say Cheese
By Yvonne Minassian,
According to Homeowner's World, people will risk their lives to re-enter a burning house to save their family's photo albums. The thought of losing baby
My Life as a Diet
By Cathlene Smith,
Little did I know, the diet would turn out to be emotionally devastating. So, I needed to lose a few pounds. I had thought about
June-July 2007 SEMI-FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Asylum Earth - The Real Story of Orville and Wilber Wright
By T. Michael Barclay,
Ingrained with an innate fear of flying, most historians never got closer to getting airborne than being on an Amtrak train when the bar car
Hardcore Legend Steers Back Into Trouble
By Burton Cole,,
My chiropractor must be writing a novel. Every time I’m in the middle of explaining why my back is out this time, his muse suddenly
A Real Pain In The You-Know-What
By Laurie Fabrizio,
My husband and I recently appeared on “Larry King Live”, to debate which was more painful-his kidney stone, or my giving birth. Giving birth, that’s
Accomplishing Great Things Up The Suction Hose
By Sue Anna Langenberg,
I think that we are all capable of accomplishing great things. At least that’s what my parents taught me. Every day you should appreciate life,
Survey This
By Carol MacAllister,
Please. No more e-mail jokes. My mailbox is jammed; my time is consumed with important issues. I have work to do. Why am I part
Laugh Lines And Goofy Faces -- Neither Is Very Funny
By Karrie McAllister,
Pick up a magazine, turn on the television, click on your computer and sure enough, they’ll be the latest and greatest news about skin care,
One Day Down, Three To Go
By Wayne Scheer,
Recently, my wife and I watched our three grandchildren, ages seven, five and three, while their parents enjoyed a four-day vacation. We soon learned why
A Worse Moustrap
By DC Stanfa,
The first sign of the presence of mice coincided with the absence of a man. Two days after my divorce was final, I discovered tiny
Flash And Burn, Baby!
By Kathleen M. Wooton, M.D.,
In my professional experience, I’ve delivered my share of medical understatement. Falsely reassuring pronouncements, such as “you might feel a slight pinch” when drawing blood,
June-July 2007 HONORABLE MENTIONS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
The Thing And I
By Danielle Allen,
January 2, 2016
If you have known me for a while, you have probably concluded by now that wildlife and I should just agree to go our separate
In Search of The Holy Maraca
By Cameron Castle,
January 2, 2016
“I guess a lot of people would consider it a choking hazard. But it really only is if you leave him alone with it.” Standing
Osama
By Cy Creed,
January 2, 2016
It really bothers me that I’m the same age as Osama Bin Laden. I would like to believe I don’t look as weathered or as
Child-like Superstitions Crush the Best Team in the NHL… and It’s Mom’s Fault
By Wendy D'Alessandro,
January 2, 2016
I was in the den writing when I heard a scream from the other room. “Aargh! No, no. It can’t be happening,” yells my oldest
Is There A Cure For Brain Freeze?
By Elaine Luddy Klonicki,
January 2, 2016
Recently, I had an embarrassing episode at a local gas station when I gave the attendant my BP card instead of my Shell card. You’d
Reluctant Spokesmodel
By E. Mitchell,
January 2, 2016
I have a dilemma unusual for a writer – I don’t want to promote my own work. Slacker that I am, the fact that I
The Garden Hat
By Duncan Moreland, Devon,
January 2, 2016
It’s Monday afternoon. I’m in the garden. My face is slowly getting sunburned, I can feel it. That means soreness and an abundance of new
Blonde Putty
By Lisa Spense,
January 2, 2016
Once again I find myself in the middle of a project. This time in the process of, school starting, trying to get a home business
Buy A House In 30 Minutes Or Less!
By Judi Veoukas,
January 2, 2016
Have you ever watched that TV show in which people hunt for a place to live, are shown three listings by a real estate agent,
Congratulations To EVERYONE Who Entered!
If your entry was not recognized this time, please don't give up! Writing humor is a specialized craft, and it takes time and effort to master any craft.
- Some entries were well-written, but needed more work setting up the humor and punching up the punch lines. Try structuring your work with distinct set-ups and punch lines throughout the piece.
- Other entries had plenty of punch, but relied on coarseness or vulgarity, which limited their potential readership. Try writing as if your piece were for a daily newspaper to achieve the most universal appeal.
However, just by entering you made a great effort and we commend you for it! (You already did better than those who just thought about entering, but didn't even try!)
We hope you will enter again and look forward to seeing more of your work!
Enjoy more award-winning humor in our exclusive Humor Showcase:
Winners | Finalists | Semi-Finalists | Honorable Mentions
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- Entries should be 750 words or less.
- $250.00 in total cash prizes will be awarded. Five winners will be named.
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