"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR!"TM SHOWCASE
Check Out Our Humor Writing Contest Results!
Congratulations to the Winners, Finalists, Semi-Finalists & Honorable Mentions in our
February-March 2008
Writing Contest!
Click any headline below to see the full entry, then scroll up or down to see other entries in the group.
All entries are carefully reviewed based on our exclusive "H-U-M-O-R"SM judging criteria:
- H = Humor -- Does it make us laugh?
- U = Universality -- Is it fairly "clean"?
- M = Moxie -- Does it have plenty of zing?
- O = Originality -- Is it fresh and new?
- R = 'Riting -- Is it well-'ritten?
(OK, "Writing," but we couldn't judge entries on their "H-U-M-O-W", could we?)
You, too, can get in on the fun, get published and win your share of $250.00 in prize money!
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February-March 2008 WINNERS...
(CLICK ANY TITLE TO SEE ENTRY)
It's Only Logical
By Judi Veoukas,
In a world where women come from Venus and men come from logic, it’s tough to be a woman. It isn’t that we’re not logical;
Signs Of The Apocalypse
By Dan Bain,
I remember that night after my Freshman year when I told my parents I was changing majors from Computer Science to English. After they came
To Blog Or Not To Blog
By Chad Hatfield,
I started blogging about six months ago, or should I say, blogging took over my life six months ago. When I started my blog, I
Some Like It Hot
By Audrey D. Mark,
January 2, 2016
I felt it was good karma showing me a sign. A small plastic one, in fact, outside a Bikram hot yoga studio reading “ 10
Last-Minute Tax Deductions
By Diana Estill,
Every year I search for tax deductions to lower my bill to Uncle Sam. So far, the best way I’ve found to escape paying federal
February-March 2008 FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
O . I . C . Y . I . M . STUPID... T . V .
By Richard Eimer,
Charles Darwin, Father of Evolution, deduced that humans have been evolving for millions of years by means of survival of the fittest and natural selection.
Song Of The South
By Matt Foley,
I love the south and all its' charms; fantastic weather, scenic beauty and most importantly, if you can subdue it, southerners will fry it and
A Trip To The Vet
By Jennifer Graham,
I like to think of myself as a caring yet realistic pet owner. All dogs and cats- in fact, anything bigger than a loaf of
The Cure For Fatal Carpeting
By Sue Anna Langenberg,
You can hate carpeting for only so many years. After that, it becomes a dangerous assault against your physical and mental health. It took me
The Wild Side
By David Spector,
My flaw, my only flaw, is the flaw of not being perfect. While I’m unsure how this flaw affects the lives of others, it has
The World Has Gone To The Dogs
By Judi Veoukas,
I rounded the corner of the aisle at Luscious Linens-n-Other-Stuff, expecting to encounter bedding. Instead, I encountered a dog--in a stroller! Talk about the phrase
My Safe Mode Dream
By Linda Marie Dugger,
Last night I dreamed I woke up in Safe Mode. Yes, it was a nightmare where I was a computer running a Windows Operating System
February-March 2008 SEMI-FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Shoe Shopping
By Ken Bobrosky,
Shopping for new shoes should be a joyful, carefree event. My last experience almost evolved into a hostage taking and media frenzy! My reliable old
Being Cleared Of Crime Never Felt So Bad
By Burton Cole,,
It would be nice to be confused with a movie star. The only time I was the subject of mistaken identity was when I was
CSI Turns Into Horror Show When Scope's On You
By Burton Cole,,
I used to enjoy all those crime scene investigations shows. Then I got scared. "What," I quaked, "would they find if they ever went over
She's OK, But...
By Burton Cole,,
You know it’s not going to be a good phone call when the first words you hear -- even before "hello" -- are, "Your daughter
Dressed To Kill
By Jennifer Graham,
When our phone rang last Wednesday night at 10:30, I felt the bottom drop out of my stomach, a kind of Pavlovian response to the
Hair-Raising Thoughts
By Jennifer Graham,
I love my esthetician. I love just saying the word "esthetician." Es-tha-tish-an. Pretty, isn't it? Mysterious, maybe even dangerous. You can have a vocabulary of
The Great American Nap—How to Take It
By Joel Habush,
Why Great American? Because we Americans have taken something people the world over indulge in, in some form or another, and elevated it to an
Words I Learned In High School
By Wendy Hand Tatum,
Like many children of the seventies and eighties, I watched a lot, A LOT, of television. Way too often, TV beat out any kind of
School's Out, Fun's In
By David Jenkins,
The day began like any other day. The morning sun filtered through the kitchen window as I shuffled my way toward that first cup of
Home Remedy Makes One Hot Mama
By Lesley Marijke McCandless,
By my own admission, I am a dabbler in life, filled with pseudo expertise, while totally lacking common sense. In college, I changed my major
Clean Genes
By Joan McKinley,
If cleaning house were a matter of life or death my husband would be comatose and my children with foster parents while I wrote my
Christmas at Contessa's
By Danielle Schaaf,
The television was tuned into a rerun of the The Waltons, that fantasy show where a passel of kids lived happily ever after on a
February-March 2008 HONORABLE MENTIONS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Traveling Outside The Comfort Zone
By Mary Ellen Collins,
January 2, 2016
As my husband and I prepared for a trip to Kenya and Tanzania, travel angst threatened to sideline me long before it was time to
Four Old Ladies And A Check
By Vicky DeCoster,
January 2, 2016
My husband and I sat next to each other at a restaurant the other day for lunch. As we enjoyed a delicious meal and lively
Inner Super Freak
By Cara Downs,
January 2, 2016
Well, it’s true. If you’re a single gal in New York City, the best way to find a husband is to move. Far away. After
The Magic Pants
By Jean Follmer,
January 2, 2016
Marjorie Randall dropped the kids off at school and returned home for Laundry Day. Five loads later, Marjorie remembered she needed to run to Safeway
The Hairy Ape Revisited
By Dr. Zanzibar E. Fleece (a.k.a. Ryan Glaser),
January 2, 2016
Contributor’s Note: Dr. Fleece is the Disney-appointed Chairman for the Study of Raccoons Milk and Its Soothing Effects on Agrizoophobia at Pomona College and has
Women's Issues
By Carol MacAllister,
January 2, 2016
My friend’s daughter just gave birth to a 10 lb. 7 oz baby.She raced off to see her first grandson, Liam. There was no mistaking
Get A Grip
By Lesley Marijke McCandless,
January 2, 2016
Okay so yesterday my world simply fell apart leaving me a bundle of raw nerves, something like might happen if injected with about ten shots
Holiday Miracle
By Rich R.,
January 2, 2016
I like holiday music, but it hasn’t always been that way. I grew up attending a parochial school, a very strict, oppressive and frightening parochial
How I Became A V.I.P.
By Liz Stuart,
January 2, 2016
This may sound unusual, but I've been pondering my "state of being" lately. After hearing my office-mate describe another office-mate as a NAP (a person
Tattle-Tale Tags Try To Put Mom On The Shelf
By Burton Cole,,
January 2, 2016
I’ve found another reason to fear Big Brother: He’s trying to put Dear Ol’ Mother out of business. On my way to the comics in
Congratulations To EVERYONE Who Entered!
If your entry was not recognized this time, please don't give up! Writing humor is a specialized craft, and it takes time and effort to master any craft.
- Some entries were well-written, but needed more work setting up the humor and punching up the punch lines. Try structuring your work with distinct set-ups and punch lines throughout the piece.
- Other entries had plenty of punch, but relied on coarseness or vulgarity, which limited their potential readership. Try writing as if your piece were for a daily newspaper to achieve the most universal appeal.
However, just by entering you made a great effort and we commend you for it! (You already did better than those who just thought about entering, but didn't even try!)
We hope you will enter again and look forward to seeing more of your work!
Enjoy more award-winning humor in our exclusive Humor Showcase:
Winners | Finalists | Semi-Finalists | Honorable Mentions
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- Entries should be 750 words or less.
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