"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR!"TM SHOWCASE
Check Out Our Humor Writing Contest Results!
Congratulations to the Winners, Finalists, Semi-Finalists & Honorable Mentions in our
August- September 2010
Writing Contest!
Click any headline below to see the full entry, then scroll up or down to see other entries in the group.
All entries are carefully reviewed based on our exclusive "H-U-M-O-R"SM judging criteria:
- H = Humor -- Does it make us laugh?
- U = Universality -- Is it fairly "clean"?
- M = Moxie -- Does it have plenty of zing?
- O = Originality -- Is it fresh and new?
- R = 'Riting -- Is it well-'ritten?
(OK, "Writing," but we couldn't judge entries on their "H-U-M-O-W", could we?)
You, too, can get in on the fun, get published and win your share of $250.00 in prize money!
Enter "America's Funniest Humor"TMWriting Contest to claim (or regain) a spot in our Humor Showcase!
Join The Fun! Enter Our Humor Writing Contest Today!
August- September 2010 WINNERS...
(CLICK ANY TITLE TO SEE ENTRY)
Abuzz
By David Crawford,
My son (age 9) was reading a new science book. I was in mid-sip of my coffee when he approached and asked an innocent question.
Oranges, Goats, and Guns
By Jonathan Criswell,
They often say to live every day of your life as if it’s your last. Actually very few people say that. I know I have
The Department of Education Orders Recall Of Half-a-Million High School Graduates
By Carlos Arnade,
The Education Department has announced that it is recalling a half million high school graduates after officials discovered defects in the nation’s educational system. According
This Is a Great Deal… I Promise… Please Don’t Go!
By Tiffany Carboni,
January 2, 2016
Family-Prized Sofa for Sale In perfect condition—only $100 or best offer (and we’re willing to consider any offer at this point)! This gently used, Concord
The Employee Employer Test
By Dan McGinley,
As my lovely job search continues, I notice a growing trend in the hiring process starting to provide unbridled pessimism for millions of hopeful applicants:
August- September 2010 FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Prep School Quandary: No One Knows What to “Prepare” Students For
By Carlos Arnade,
The School of Soft Rings Hits the World of Hard Knocks For over a hundred years, Preparatory Schools across the Northeastern Region of the United
Take Me Out to the Ballgame' Examined
By Jonathan Criswell,
Recently my family and I attended a Major League Baseball game. The goal then is to compare our experiences to those of the guys who
Coming This Fall
By Christopher Hivner,
The TV season used to belong to four networks with original programming. Now every nickel and dime network is creating their own shows. With so
How to Write a Teenage Drama in Eight Easy Steps
By Maggie Phenicie,
1. Give your characters great names. Michael? John? Sarah? Please. This is the place for Rayven and Maritza and Zeke and Weston. Bonus points if
Be-Steel My Heart
By Terri Spilman,
The day was June 19, 1999. The clouds gave way to bright sunshine just as our nuptials were starting. Was it a sign of luck
Medical Note: Urine Should Never Be Chunky
By Karla Telega,
One of the most common diseases associated with aging is hypochondria. If you experience ringing in your ears, difficulty reading fine print, increased ear wax,
Cereal Killer
By Thomas Wheeler,
I won the last bi-monthly humor contest. My wife, who long ago decided I was no Seinfeld, is sure I bribed somebody or possess compromising
August- September 2010 SEMI-FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Gasoline Anonymous Shelters Overwhelmed by Americans Seeking Treatment for Oil Addiction
By Carlos Arnade,
Recent statements by media commentators, regarding the American addiction to oil, are driving thousand of U.S. citizens to seek help at Gasoline Anonymous shelters throughout
New Poll: A Majority of Politicians Disapprove of the Recent Performance of Voters
By Carlos Arnade,
Across the Political Spectrum, Politician Distrust of Voters is at an All Time High. A recent Zugsby poll of elected officials serving in county, state,
Forty is the New Thirty
By Jeffery Cain,
I’m sure you’ve probably heard the saying that forty is the new thirty, but have you considered why? Is it that many people are too
Ties Choke Out Fashion Sense
By Burton Cole,,
Why are men considered dressed up when their collars are cinched shut by a tie? Is bearing a noose about one’s neck symbolic of the
Why Ask Why? Because
By Burton Cole,,
Lisa made the mistake of asking why. Why, she asked me the other day, does gray hair make men distinguished – handsome, even – but
Chocolate Depravity
By Elaine Harrigan,
I knew I shouldn’t have gone shopping so close to dinner. But it was the fabric store, for Pete’s sake; how much temptation could there
Important Information
By Ben L.,
Important information was introduced to the public this morning and it appears to have caused quite a stir. “This information is important, because it changes
The Birth of Motherhood
By Marymichelle Lotano,
Being a first time mom was the greatest adventure I have ever undertaken. It was filled with new experiences, extreme emotions and unparalleled exhaustion. During
Blame AARP
By Dorothy Rosby,
It's a traumatic event in anyone's life. You're coasting along, going about your business, and then one day, you open your mailbox and there's that
Amazon PayPhrase Gets Nasty
By Amy Vansant,
*NOTE: Every one of the following PayPhrase examples are actual suggestions from Amazon, which apparently hates me. I have never been much of a "shopper."
August- September 2010 HONORABLE MENTIONS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Unplug and Play Road Sign Game
By Burton Cole,,
January 2, 2016
I was trapped in a passenger van for hours of highway with a gob of kids. Being an old man now, I dreaded the trip.
"It" Happens
By Pamela Frost,
January 2, 2016
Due to food allergies, I have digestive difficulties a vat of Pepto Bismol can’t fix. A life condition that’s…inconvenient, to say the least, but my
The Exhibitionist
By Seth H.,
January 2, 2016
The day before my second college rowing race I was overweight by three pounds. A week prior I only had to drop down to 150
Pandemics, Pigs and Peasants
By Kadzi Mutizwa,
January 2, 2016
My Super — ain’t nothin’ super about him. Never mind, yes there is. There’s the super-tardiness and the super-tawdriness. The super-incompetence. The super-chicanery. And I’m
Why Men Should Not Do Housework
By Kevin OBrien,
January 2, 2016
One day I was feeling guilty about sending my darling wife Regina to work while my unemployed self stayed home. I asked her if there
When Being Sick Means Catching a Bug
By Patrick "Patch" Rose,
January 2, 2016
My husband hardly ever gets sick, which is good, because he pretty much stinks at it. I guess you could say being ill ticks him
James and the Giant, Glaring Realization I’m Better off Alone and/or with Cats
By Rebecca Schweitzer,
January 2, 2016
Just when I thought things couldn't possibly get any more dysfunctional, he shoved the car door open and literally did a tuck-and-roll onto the off
Ricochets
By Bob Shirley,
January 2, 2016
“Do you love me?” means we, or more accurately I, need to return something to the store, redecorate the garage, or rearrange the back yard.
Congratulations To EVERYONE Who Entered!
If your entry was not recognized this time, please don't give up! Writing humor is a specialized craft, and it takes time and effort to master any craft.
- Some entries were well-written, but needed more work setting up the humor and punching up the punch lines. Try structuring your work with distinct set-ups and punch lines throughout the piece.
- Other entries had plenty of punch, but relied on coarseness or vulgarity, which limited their potential readership. Try writing as if your piece were for a daily newspaper to achieve the most universal appeal.
However, just by entering you made a great effort and we commend you for it! (You already did better than those who just thought about entering, but didn't even try!)
We hope you will enter again and look forward to seeing more of your work!
Enjoy more award-winning humor in our exclusive Humor Showcase:
Winners | Finalists | Semi-Finalists | Honorable Mentions
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- Entries should be 750 words or less.
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