I hate Super Glue, and you should too. Whatever you think you know about it, you’re wrong. It is pure evil.

Look, I’ve seen the commercials, and I know what you’re going to say. How can I hate Super Glue? Everybody loves Super Glue! Look how strong it is! You can stick a guy in a hard hat to an iron beam, and he can hang there and swing his legs, and that’s just using one drop!

And believe me, there was a period in my life when I would have agreed with you.

I refer to that period as “Before I Glued My Hand to a Boot.”

On a recent camping trip …