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"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM SHOWCASE

OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2005 Humor Writing Contest Results!

Congratulations to the Finalists of our OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2005 Humor Writing Contest!

Pet Peeves

By Charla Belinski

My oldest son started asking for a dog shortly after birth. Considering that my husband’s lungs shut down at the mention of a dog, I thought actually owning one might be a bad idea.

I was able to deter Nick for awhile by simply having more children. When he pestered me for a dog I simply said, “Here. Hold the baby.”

That worked for a good many years until he started pestering me to have more children instead of having more dogs and I was once again forced to reconsider the whole pet issue.

Knowing that my husband’s strong preference was to breathe, I steered Nick away from the dog idea. We tried goldfish first but they died within a week. Ditto the tadpoles. We babysat Flopsy the bunny and she died not long after her safe return. We took in two lizards from the 3rd grade classroom who didn’t live to see the end of the school year …

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