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"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM SHOWCASE

October- November 2010 Humor Writing Contest Results!

Congratulations to the Semi-finalists of our October- November 2010 Humor Writing Contest!

Announcements On the PA System

By Lloyd S

(Music) Baby, I need your lovin’.. Baby I need your lovin’ BEEP spill on aisle 10, cleanup on 10 please!

(Music) Baby, I need your BEEP Price check from produce at register 5 please!

(Music) Baby, BEEP We have an overflowing toilet in the women’s bathroom, maintenance please attend!

(Music) Baby, I need BEEP Sweet corn locally grown on my farm. Hi, I’m Farmer John from Corn Land Acres and I want to tell you BEEP The toilet still needs attention, Maintenance PLEASE ATTEND! (Music) lovin’… Baby, I BEEP Farmer John telling you about the sweetest corn in the BEEP Still waiting for the produce price check on 5 please!

(Music) Baby, I need BEEP Corn, let me finish telling you about my corn! BEEP Can your corn John. It’s the worst I’ve ever tasted!

(Music) Baby, I BEEP Code Red aisle 6, blind lady’s seeing eye dog bit a stock clerk, Code Red aisle 6!

(Music) Baby, I BEEP Lana report to aisle 6 please, Lana to aisle 6. Seeing eye dog impounded by police, Lana help the blind lady and drive her home. Get car keys from the dog!

(Music) Baby, I need BEEP Another Code Red aisle 6. Motorized shopping cart backed over blind lady, will somebody please attend!

(Music) Bab BEEP We have a special on Hemorrhoid Ointment in our pharmacy department. Only 4.99 for a 6 oz tube. Easy to use too, just apply to BEEP Shut up, you old bag! We have some real problems in this store and you’re jabbering about butt medicine. Doesn’t anybody listen to these announcements? BEEP Old bag am I? They don’t call you Miss-management for nothing lady, I quit!

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