–American Public Says It’s OK if Borrowing Countries Default–
According to several government sources with names, the Office of Management and Budget is working with the Foreign Aid establishment to come up with a plan to loan the U.S. Congress to a foreign country. The plan, called “Export Egos, Democracy, Government–and–Actually Debate Something”, or EE-GAADS, is meant to show recently emerging economic powers how American style democracy works. OMB economists predict that EE-GAADS will provide weary voters and the executive branch of the U.S. Government a much needed break.
If all goes according to plan, within a year members of Congress will move–in mass–to an emerging market country and begin legislating. OMB planners expect that by nine months Congress will bankrupt the economy of the country where they are working. Once demonstrating how democracy works, they will move to another country and begin anew, to spend money, and allocate earmarks, and debate critical issues, such as whether to use “droppings” from the national bird to “fertilize” the national flower.
OMB had originally planned to loan the U.S. Congress to Saudi Arabia. However the oil rich kingdom country said it would prefer that the United States loan it basketball players, pro-wrestlers, and clouds that contain rain. Despite the setback, numerous countries have expressed interest in borrowing the U.S. Congress for a brief period of time.
For example, France announced it would like to borrow the Congress for six months and have it continue to denounce the Obama’s administration’s expansive foreign policy.
French officials revealed a plan to locate the U.S. Congress inside Disney World, France, and turn Congressional debate into a theme park ride; allowing French ticket buyers to ride little boats down canals that wind around the U.S. Congressional chamber.
French officials said they were willing to add, for free, the theme song:
“It small world-view after all”
to the theme park ride.
Disney World-France designers expressed approval of the plan saying they are willing to include Republican and Democratic caucus meetings as part of Disney’s House of Horrors ride; locating the meetings between the Jekyll & Hyde chamber and the American 50 hour work-week room.
Russia said it would like to borrow the U.S. Congress for one Moscow winter and use it to filibuster legislation to implement banking reforms, while simultaneously denouncing banks for providing cash to members of Congress. Russian officials say that once the Americans Congress leaves Moscow, the Russian public will once again appreciate Russian officialdom’s openly honest approach to dishonest thievery.
The Ex-Soviet republic of Kazakhstan also expressed interest in borrowing the U.S. Congress to pass legislation to provide critical mohair subsidies to that country’s sheep farmers and its mohair styling saloons. Kazakhstan said it also would ask the U.S. Congressional to pass a cash-for-cluckers program to upgrade that country’s deteriorating poultry industry.
Turkmenistan said it would like to borrow the U.S. Congress to liven up that regime’s stone-faced TV comedy shows. According to rumors, Turkmenistan’s citizens have grown bored watching Stalin statues slip and fall on Turkish carpets made out of banana peels.
Tajikistan said it would like to borrow the U.S. Congress so its government police could take Congressmen hostage and demand ransom from Kazak sheep herders who are looking for chicken and mohair subsidies.
And the Leader of Uzbekistan pleaded with the U.S. Congress to come and work in his country, saying that he was bored since he had no legislative body left to raid, close down, and put into prison.
The next day, the Taliban invited the U.S. Congress to Pakistan and demanded that they immediately begin legislating in order to paralyze that country’s government.
Opinion polls show that the U.S. public overwhelming favors EE-GAADS and would not mind if the U.S. Congress stayed loaned to foreign countries for several decades. When asked which foreign country they prefer to lend the U.S. Congress to, an overwhelming majority of Americans said Uzbekistan; while a significant amount of Americans said Hawaii or Alaska.
Several congressmen expressed excitement about EE-GADs; and said they looked forward to moving overseas, practicing democracy, and spending money, now that United States budget deficit has surpassed a trillion dollars a year.
Meanwhile, OMB said that in light of the positive public responsive to EE-GAADS, it was also proposing EE-GAADS: II or
Export Every Government Agency and Department of State: Too.