“Best pickup line yet,” Katie wrote. “He showed me his Walmart badge to introduce himself from his car and was surprised when I responded with my Kmart badge.”
We, as guys, love our pickup lines, which we know are witty, clever and bound to make girls swoon right into our waiting arms.
Meanwhile, our victims instead are making appointments with the optician. They’ve developed a strain from rolling their eyes so often.
Sweetest Day is past, but Valentine’s day is on its way. Guys, before that happens, take some advice from your ol’ Uncle Burtie – drop the pickup lines. Now back away. Now run!
Ah, now what gems do we have here in this crumpled pile of inadvertently stupid lines the guys dropped? Here’s a sampling, according to sites such as askmen.com and romancestruck.com and from my own sad experience:
* “Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past again?”
My guess is that you and your mirror will be very happy together.
* “It’s your lucky day. Out of all the girls here, I picked you to talk to.”
Then again, maybe there’s not even room for a mirror in your love affair with yourself.
* “Can I have your phone number? I seem to have lost mine.”
Says Relationship Correspondent Thomas Foley, “Any girl who finds this bad pickup line charming has most likely just been released from prison or a mental institution.”
* “Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?”
* “You must be tired because you’ve been running through my head all night.”
Your great-grandfather used this one and it didn’t work any better for him.
* “I love you like a sister – but not MY sister!”
That’s a relief, I suppose.
* “I’m a raindrop and I’m falling for you.”
“Baby, you must be a broom ‘cause you just swept me off my feet.”
“I must be a snowflake because I’ve fallen for you.”
Seriously? Cue the gagging sounds.
* “Don’t be so picky. I wasn’t!”
OK, maybe you should stick with the snowflake thing.
* “You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.”
Oh, you romantic devil, you!
* “Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve met you only in my dreams.”
Maybe you can try this if she’s wearing a Disney princess costume. She might believe it, then.
* “Did the sun come up or did you just smile at me?”
* “If you gave me a penny for my thoughts, I’d have just one penny, because I only think about one thing and that’s you.”
Once upon time in a land far, far away, there lived a beautiful princess and an ugly troll…
* “Can I lick that film off your teeth?”
See, the idea of a pickup line not only is to get the lady’s attention, but to keep her talking with you, not calling 911.
* “Baby, you’re sexier than socks on a rooster.”
Oh, go ahead. Try it. I’ve got to see this one in action.
Or maybe you should just flash her your department store badge. Suddenly, it does seem like the best pickup line ever.