I can’t help but notice that too many articles of the previous years summer clothing have me doing the ol’ “suck ‘n zip.” Now this is perfectly understandable given that just 2 months ago, one of these pairs of shorts would not have made it past my pregnant ankles. That being said, I received a gentle reminder of the effort involved in shedding this excess poundage through a telephone survey I participated in the other day.

A very upbeat twenty-something explained to me that she was calling from York University in Toronto and that my husband had, on a previous occasion, indicated that I was the one they should call back and question. Thanks Honey. Thanks a lot. She continued on and explained to me that she would be asking me some questions about my personal concepts and awareness of healthy living and exercise. I should have just told her then and there that my personal concept of exercise these days is breast feeding but she sounded like she was wearing lululemon and doing crunches and I wanted her to think I was too.

I have participated in a number of surveys in my time and generally I have found them to be non-threatening affairs. So I’m not sure if the problem this time was the survey itself or my need for elasticized waist bands. Here are a few snipets.

Surveyor: How many times in the past year did you participate in some form of exercise you felt affected your overall health?

Me: You want an actual number?

Surveyor: Yes.

I frantically tried to do some kind of calculation and came up with 25 or 30.

Surveyor : So 25 or 30?

Me: Yes.

Surveyor: No. Pick one. 25 or 30.

Me: Oh. 30. Definitely 30. Probably more.

Surveyor: Did you want to change your answer?

Me: Am I allowed?

Surveyor: If you want to, you may change your answer.

Me: Ok. 50. We’ll go with 50. (I couldn’t tell if she was impressed by 50 or not but I decided to stick)

Surveyor: Name an activity you participated in for exercise in the past year.

Me: Yoga.

Surveyor: How many times did you participate in this activity in the past year?

Me. uuuhm…5 or 6?

Surveyor: 5 or 6?

Me: Well I’ve been really busy and pregnant.

Surveyor: No 5 or 6.

Me: Oh sorry. 6 times. Maybe 8. Say 8.

Surveyor: On a scale of one to seven, one being not at all aware, seven being completely aware…

Me: two

Surveyor: I haven’t finished the question.

Me: Oh.

Surveyor: Never mind. Let’s move on. Have you ever heard of the program ParticipAction?

Me: Yes.

Surveyor: Please describe to me the general principles of ParticipAction.

Me: Can I change my last answer?

I was totally defeated by the time she had finished with me. I’d like to change my answer to the first question to 51.