When I moved from Chicago to Tampa, Florida in December, I knew I’d have to make some adjustments. In return for beautiful weather, pristine beaches and friendly neighbors who actually introduced themselves and brought over bundt cakes, I knew I’d have to live with a lot of bugs.

At first I tried to kill them all, a lone vigilante against these environmental equivalents to gang lords. The strongest factions were mosquitoes (Blood), palmetto bugs (the Creeps) and …