To their parents’ eyes, kids seem to stay at one age forever. The same feels true about preschool TV shows they watch religiously. Parents find themselves asking, “Will they ever grow out of Sesame Street and Dragon Tales?”
In fact, they do. And when kids eventually leave some of these shows behind — even the award-winning, halo-wearing ones — parents offer a silent thanks. Not because the shows were all that bad for kids, but because you personally were ready to go Gillooly on Mr. Noodle’s kneecaps.
Here’s my personal top ten list of good, bad, and simply beguiling shows I’m thrilled to leave behind.
I’m not sure which world was actually more annoying — the real one, in which Max is obnoxious, or Dragon Land, in which Max is obnoxious. This show also accomplishes the seemingly impossible feat of making dinosaurs dull.
Thomas & Friends
Is it just me, or does this show seem like it premiered around 1923 and hasn’t changed since? I’m pretty sure Sir Topham Hatt went to grammar school with Mr. Monopoly.
Goodbye Emily Elizabeth, Clifford, Speckle, and your irony-free, jeopardy-free, humor-free world. I hope to see Jetta someday in an E! True Hollywood Story.
Things that make no sense tend to irritate me after about ten minutes.
Isn’t this the same whiny kid who follows me to movie theaters and restaurants?
Dora the Explorer
For Pete’s sake, stop talking to me! I’m trying to eat cereal and watch your show in peace!
Big Comfy Couch
Things that make no sense tend to irritate me after about two minutes.
I love you, Elmo. You know I do. But couldn’t you leave the house or find new friends besides Computer, TV, and Dorothy once in a while? Credit to Kristin Chenowith for being the least creepy Noodle.
Barney & Friends
The word “Barney” alone should convey the point. Also, how fun is a show featuring the least cool children in the history of the world? They make the ZOOM kids seem like the cast of “Entourage.”
Things that make no sense tend to irritate me after about 30 seconds.