A major fast-food restaurant has just introduced a new burger called: “The Angry Burger”.
Evidently, it is a burger full of hot seasonings like onions, peppers and a hot sauce.
So, this begs the question:
What other emotion-themed or crazy-themed burgers will they promote next?
I can see the TEN TOP Contenders for their next burger now:
1. The PMS Burger: a meaty little number filled with bovine hormones. Causes the eater to experience wild mood-swings, water retention, breast tenderness and hot flashes. This will make “The Angry Burger” seem like a wimp.
2. The George W. Bush Burger: a stale, tough burger with a sour look that will give you a bitter aftertaste. After eating one, you will immediately wish it farewell forever and never want to have another.
3. The Obama Burger: A fresh burger full of multi-cultural spices, worth every penny. When you taste one, it will remove all of the bitter aftertaste (from the George W. Bush Burger). You can eat the whole thing, YES YOU CAN.
4. The “Randy” Burger: A burger that will “grow on you”, and work better than Viagra. Better than Austin Powers, Baby!
5. The Mary Wanna Burger: This tasty burger will remind you of your college days. When you get done reefing one of these down, life will immediately look better to you and you will instantly get a case of the munchies (and then compulsively order a large order of fries to go with it).
6. The Tom Cruise Burger: If you regularly eat this burger, created by a Nutrition Scientologist, you will no longer need to take your antidepressant. Only weak people need an antidepressant. You are a horrible person if you say you are depressed. All you need is this burger and only this burger. There is no room for discussion about this burger, you are just being glib if you want to talk about this burger.
7. The Rain Man Burger: They offer this on Fridays. On Fridays. Only on Fridays. Offer is on Fridays. On Fridays. I can’t go on Tuesday, they only offer it on Fridays. They offer this on Fridays.
8. The Oprah Burger: Sometimes you get a lean burger, sometimes it is a little more “full-bodied” with some extra fat added. Whenever you order one, you get the Politics Meal along with a free Obama doll, whether you want it or not. Over and over. If you refuse to get the doll, you are forced to listen to a ten minute, emotional description of the Obama doll from the Burger King counter staff until you give in and just tell them to give you the damn doll.
9. The LOST Burger: You are sure you experienced the burger, but now it has just completely disappeared. You aren’t sure if you just had a flashback to eating the burger, or if the burger was an image of the future. In fact, the lady you just sat with to eat the burger (that you thought was someone you just met) turns out to be your future adopted child’s grandmother. Or maybe you are (in reality) dead from the plane trip you took (where it crashed) and the burger and you aren’t real after all.
10. The Angelina Burger: After you order one of these babies, you will want another and another and another. Don’t worry, you will still remain beautiful after eating all of them. In fact, you may want yet another. Actually, this burger is the Pitts.
Oh, the list is endless………………..