There is a war being fought in homes all across America, a battle of epic proportions and far-flung consequences. I am speaking, of course, about the battle for the blankets. People of all ages struggle to hold on to their half of the bedcovers, while their adversary tries to win them all.
People are so very different in the ways they sleep. In my house, we have a good representation of some of the major types of sleepers. I myself am the perfect sleeper. I do not snore, contrary to some claims you might hear, and I do not toss and turn all night. I wear pajamas or a nightgown, and I do not bury myself under a pile of blankets. I prefer a light cover in the summer and a moderately heavy cover in the winter.
My teenager is a minimalist. While I will not go into details, he does wear something to bed, and would not have to fear arrest if he had to escape through the window because of fire or other emergency. He prefers a light cover year round, and sleeps the sleep of the innocent. I am not sure how he manages to pull that off, because he is a perfectly normal teenager, but he does sleep well. He also sleeps alone, so there is no struggle for blanket supremacy. He is his own worst enemy, as he is just as likely to throw his covers to the floor as he is to keep them around.
My husband is another type of sleeper and an extreme one. His style is what might politely be called “au natural,” yet he wraps himself in so many layers of blanket, he resembles a giant cocoon. I have wondered more than once if he was in fact morphing inside his cocoon, and I am a little fearful of what he might emerge as. He is the blanket hog in our house. I have awakened shivering to find myself clutching the edge of the covers almost by instinct, as my sleep self tries to defend my holdings. If I lose the edge, I have truly lost the battle, because my hubby rolls in his sleep and gathers his cocoon more snugly about himself.
I will occasionally be granted a reprieve. If he happens to get up to visit the bathroom, I will quickly unfurl the covers and redistribute them along more equitable lines. I tell him it is to conserve the residual body heat, so the bed is still toasty when he climbs back in. I also check after the bed is made in the morning to insure the covers are hanging evenly on both sides. I don’t want to be greedy, but I see no reason to give him an unfair advantage either.
Another source of blanket discord is the number of blankets we have on the bed. My dear one likes his blankets piled high year round, while I prefer a variable approach. In the past I have tried doubling the covers so that there are twice as many on his side as there are on mine. It makes for a funny looking bed, but it does work.
This year, I may have stumbled on the perfect solution. I purchased an electric blanket with dual controls. I know, these have been around for years, but I never claimed to be at the forefront of fashion or technology. With a touch of the dial, my husband can create the illusion of 10 down quilts, if he so desires. I, on the other hand, can turn my side completely off. It is the epitome of diversity and compromise, and I am amazed it took so long for us to figure this out.
I still have the cocooning to deal with , but I am not giving up. One step at a time, and I will win this war.