When I was younger, I used to jokingly tell my friends that when I retired, I wanted to be a country and western lounge singer. The fact that I could not carry a tune, play the guitar or tolerate noisy smoke filled bars, did not divert me from my dream.

Now that I am a senior citizen, I have modified my goal. I want to be a rap singer. Again, the fact that I loathe rap music seems to fly in the face of this ambition. It is not the music that I admire, but mostly I love the clothes.

When I become a rapper I will be able to wear huge oversize sweatshirts that cover up any excess body baggage and belt overhang. In fact, I don’t even think a belt is part of the wardrobe.

Then you have a choice of three kinds of pants …