Barbie has gotten a bad rap.

Oh, sure, she has a figure, and her boobs don’t sag, and she has so much hair her tiny little neck looks like it should hurt, but let’s not hate her.

She looks perfect in the box and for about thirteen minutes after your daughter opens her – the same amount of time it takes her left shoe to be swallowed by the dog or the baby, and her other accessories to be lost forever under various pieces of furniture. Thereafter, Barbie looks pretty used.

In my house, Barbie looks like a trailer park diva has-been. She is usually naked, or if she has any clothes on at all, she is wearing a shimmery ball gown and a …