A clean refrigerator is a sign of a bad cook. Mark my words, I know. I’ve seen many a spotless fridge sitting inside the kitchen of a flawed chef.

You know the type I mean. They’re the same ones whose floors would rival NASA’s for cleanliness, women who not only mop frequently but hand-scrub the grout lines. They clean fastidiously and refuse to fry anything for fear of splatter. No chicken-fried steak served there. No-sir-ee.

Now, if you open my refrigerator, the story is evident. You can find what we had for dinner last night, the night before, and probably the prior month — because the leftovers are still in there, somewhere. They might be hiding behind an expired milk carton or lurking beyond a …