The top 5 reasons why I’m going to have a martini tonight.

1. During afternoon centers Jack didn’t make it to the bathroom in time and peed all over himself, the floor and part of the wall. Then, after we ran to get the change of clothes, extra socks and undies from the nurse, another child went in and slipped on the “water” on the floor, and HE needed to change.

2. Rayne and Nick were calling each other b*tches at lunchtime. After intense questioning, it was determined that only Nick was calling people b*tches. Rayne only says “sh*t”. Her mom lets her.

3. Alex had a SEVERE meltdown during free play, laid on the floor kicking and screaming, and said he hated school, his teacher (HUH?), his whole class, and his cousin Jack. After PLENTY of crying and sobbing, I finally got to the bottom of the story. Jay wanted the horned dinosaur instead of the long neck that Alex was willing to part with. Alex, in the meantime, had been in three time-outs since he walked in the room this morning. Things were clearly not going his way.

4. The class bunny (who roams the room freely) managed to get on top of my teacher desk and promptly chewed the special new crayons I had purchased for an activity on Friday and then crapped all over Drew’s behavior chart. Alex had brilliantly kept the teacher pre-occupied.

5. The teacher tried unsuccessfully to locate a recipe for RABBIT STEW on the computer because she THREW IN THE TOWEL and took them ALL outside for recess at 2:00. However, after getting 18 children zipped, one girl buttoned, locating Taylor’s missing glove, and forcing several repeat offenders into the bathroom, we only managed 14 minutes outside.

I might have lost the battle today, but the war rages on. Oh, and as Anthony walked out of school today, these were his words.

“This was a great day, wasn’t it Mrs. Smith!!” Whose room WAS he in today?