It was driving me crazy. It was making me itch. The tag inside my blouse kept rubbing against my skin. I should have removed it before I got dressed. Tags are one of life’s minor annoyances that come attached to the mattresses we sleep on to the clothes we wear.

A tag can be embarrassing for the lady who claims to be wearing a size 6 blouse, yet the tag sticking out screams XL in bold letters.

Sometimes the tag is positioned to cause discomfort and a challenge. I’d like to know why the security tag on a bra is right next to the hooks. Isn’t it hard enough to fasten hooks without the added obstacle of a security tag? Are manufacturers just trying to make it more of a challenge for us?

Security tags are major annoyances as they can not be simply ripped off. The cashier who rang me up neglected to remove the security tag from my jeans. When I got home and saw the tag I tried removing it. Plan A – first I tried pulling, hard. I broke a nail and got annoyed. Plan B – I tried using scissors and cut my finger. My annoyance level started to simmer. Plan C – I tried pliers which got bloodstained thanks to my bleeding finger.

My annoyance level started to rapidly perk. Plan D – I tried crushing it by running it over with my car. It didn’t work. My blood pressure and annoyance level reached the boiling point. Plan E – I tried blowing it up with dynamite. The police (who were downright annoyed) held me on suspicion of illegal activity.

Plan F – for failure to succeed at plans A-E – I returned to the store and had the clerk remove it. The clerk was silent upon noticing the blood, tire tracks and soot from the dynamite. She retained her silence and yet conveyed her suspicions by constantly arching her eyebrows.

When she handed my jeans to me and arched her brow one last time I prayed her underwear tag was annoying the hell out of her.