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"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM SHOWCASE

April/May 2012 Humor Writing Contest Results!

Congratulations to the Semi-finalists of our April/May 2012 Humor Writing Contest!

What Is a Tebow and Why Do We Care?

By Barbara Pawley

OK, I went on-line and apparently he is “an American football player”. More specifically, he is a “dual threat quarterback,” much like I‘m a dual threat driver – I’m old and reckless.

Apparently no one has “seen anything like it” – and that goes for both of us too.

He’s religious, which helps to explain his popularity with football fans who are more accustomed to their heroes engaged in sexual assault, murder and animal abuse.

He practices “muscular Christianity.” I’ll have to pass that by my son who practices the same thing, but without the biblical verses on his eye paint.

I hear he’s been traded in, but for what? (The new Fords are nice.) Really, poor guy, how demeaning is that? Wait a minute, didn’t owning other people go out in the 19th century? I don’t get football at all. You have someone who’s a champion, and then you trade him in. I think a woman would have hung on to him longer.

I was traded in once for a newer model, so I can empathize with Tebow – the lonely nights, the crying, the plummeting sense of self worth, the uncertainty about your future? How do these poor football players making millions of dollars handle it?

I’m not a quarterback, but I touched a football once. I’m sure you’ve heard this before. I’ve never been to a football game, but I’ve been to enough baseball games to confirm my suspicion that men just laze around most of the time unless they are forced to move, usually by a coach, a mother, or a wife.

Well, that’s what I know about Tebow, which is 100% more than I knew a few hours ago. But I still don’t have the answer to the second part of my question. Why do we care? Guys?

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