US Cultural Recognition Guide for Tourists: Reds and Blues

Food:
Reds: Double Bacon & Cheese Triple Monster Thickburger with Deep-fried Jumbo Chicken Rings
Blues: Multi-purpose living nutritive units.

Drink:
Reds: Chocolate Cherry-Vanilla-flavored Doctor Pepper
Blues: Herbal Detox probiotic scent-free, dyes free, taste-free dehydrator

Spice:
Reds: Ketchup
Blues: International bio-effective aromatherapy barks (freshly-grounded)

Dessert:
Reds: Peanut Butter Cup Sundae Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie with Vanilla Ice Cream
Blues: Allergen-free, gluten-free, casein-free, eco friendly, kosher raw organic cupcakes (profits donated directly to spotted owls).

Pets:
Reds: German shepherds
Blues: Whomever I found at a shelter

Car Model:
Reds: XXL-XXXL
Blues: bamboo bicycle

Sexual position:
Reds: Missionary
Blues: the rest

Cloths:
Reds: Khakis with polo shirts
Blues: Compostable edible garments

Political label:
Reds: Tea Party
Blues: Green Tea Party

Detergent:
Reds: Synthetic upper cylinder lubricant bleach
Blues: Chlorine-free, renewable, biodegradable, hypoallergenic distilled apple vinegar

Medical doctor:
Reds: Surgeon
Blues: Holistic alternative proactive past-life hypnotherapist

Number of Children:
Reds: 2.5
Blues: O.5-1.5

Toilet paper:
Reds: Ultra-soft most absorbent family-friendly spotless rolls
Blues: Earth-friendly Dalai Lama blessed fuzzy reusable virgin cloths (not tested on animals)

Film/Theater Director:
Reds: Ronald Reagan
Blues: Woody Allen

Jewelry:
Reds: Diamonds
Blues: Multi-cultural pro-Tibetan, socially responsible inspirational healing beads

Favorite Furniture:
Reds: The Safe
Blues: Fish tank

Books:
Reds: The Bible
Blues: the rest

REVERSE SIDE:

Breeding grounds:
Blues: Extreme East and extreme West
Reds: Extreme North and extreme South

Shoes:
Blues: Vegan hemp sandals
Reds: Cowboy boots

Alcohol:
Blues: Micro-brewed Buddhist Barley Wine
Reds: The rest

Foreign Languages:
Blues: “we all smile in the same language”
Reds: ?

Church:
Blues: Universal Alien-friendly Non-denominational Non Church
Reds: The right one

Living Space:
Blues: Big
Reds: Bigger

Cosmetics:
Blues: Cosmic wellness ageless minerals
Reds: Mary-Kay

Hobbies:
Blues: Infinite Meditative Cleansing asana-based Absolute Fitness Yoga
Reds: Golf

Vacations:
Blues: Infinite Meditative Cleansing asana-based Absolute Fitness Yoga Retreat
Reds: Hunting

Weekends:
Blues: Infinite Meditative Cleansing asana-based Absolute Fitness Yoga Anonymous Survivor Support Group
Reds: Gun, Knife and Jerky Show

Guns:
Blues: Animal-friendly Pepper spray
Reds: Shot gun

Perfume:
Blues: Karmic rainbow inner peace white Patchouli
Reds: Barbecue

Film:
Blues: Foreign with subtitles
Reds: The last one

Mental Illness:
Blues: Depression
Reds: Paranoia

*Due to the above mentioned difference in diagnosis, tourists are advised to act accordingly and at their own risk.