HumorPress.com

Have Fun! Get Published! Win Cash Prizes! ™

  • Home
  • Prizes
  • Judging
  • Contest Rules
  • Entry Form
  • Showcase
  • Previous Results
  • My Account

"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM SHOWCASE

1st/2nd Quarter 2015 Humor Writing Contest Results!

Congratulations to the Semi-finalists of our 1st/2nd Quarter 2015 Humor Writing Contest!

Wrigley Field

By Lloyd S

“Hey John, gotta minute?’

“Sure Bill, what’s up?”

“Al and I got tickets for the home game against Milwaukee at Wrigley. Al’s wife is sick so could you and Blanche come with Millie and me?’

“Wow, a chance to be in that historic place, home of the Cubs! Tinkers, Evers and Chance, the greatest double play team in history.”

“Don’t forget the goat legend and Gabby Hartnett or Sammy Sosa. I almost forgot about Babe Ruth’s ‘called shot’ homerun.”

“Just imagine sitting where history was made. I think Blanche and I will make history there too. I’m gonna pop the question! Ya think we could be on the Jumbotron?”

“My cousin Ernie works there, I’ll give him a heads up.”

So it happened that our two heroes with Millie and Blanche took a bus to Wrigley Field, arriving half an hour early. While in the queue to enter, all four studied the park walls intently and were greatly disappointed that there was not a single wriggle.

John, Blanche, Bill and Millie were seated on the right outfield side watching the Cubbies stomping on the hated Brewers. Ernie was duly alerted and he got word to the camera operators to monitor section 133 Row 9 during the sixth inning break. As soon as the last players left the field, camera 2 focused in the lucky couple ready to go live as soon as John moved.

Two minutes into the break, John got on his knee in front of Blanche, took her left hand and the crowd around them began chanting, “Say yes, say yes,” as the scene flashed on the big screen. John said, “Blanche, I can’t go on eating rancid food, listening to constant nagging, living in a pig sty apartment or sleeping with face full of cucumber facial cream next to me. Blanche, will you divorce me?”

“Oh yes John. I will gladly divorce you, you lying, stinking, drunken, unemployed slob. Being divorced would make me the happiest woman in the world!” With that John slid the gold ring off Blanche’s left hand and the whole stadium roared with a cheer so loud that Wrigley Field finally wriggled.

Yes Cubs fans, history was made that night. Who cares if another World Series is ever played here again, forget about the goat, Wrigley Field wriggled!

ENTER OUR
WRITING CONTEST!

See The Latest Results In Our HUMOR SHOWCASE:

  • Winners
  • Finalists
  • Semi-finalists
  • Honorable Mentions
  • Previous Results (All The Way Back To June 2005)!
  • Writers’ Sites: Add Our Contest Listing
  • Your Partner In Writing Success
  • Contact US

Copyright © 2005 - 2015 HumorPress.com

1128 Royal Palm Beach Blvd., # 102
Royal Palm Beach, FL 33411