Welcome to Turd Mailer your one stop shop for letting those not so special someones know just how you feel. Have a terrible boss, difficult ex, co-worker or teammate that needs a little heads up. Send a nicely wrapped Chocolate Turd and an anonymous note that says “You’re a Turd.” A simple and gratifying way to let that someone know just how you see them. Don’t worry, this is completely anonymous your name and information will be absolutely safe from the offending recipient.

What your turd gets; (1) “You’re a Turd” card (2) a chocolate poo wrapped in cellophane (3) Their very own “I’m a turd” sticker. Why Chocolate? We think sending real Cleveland Steamers via the mail is a little too extreme, even for us, plus it’s not really fair to our delivery service workers, let alone the office – forget about it. Added laugh bonus if they actually try it – it’s good chocolate, but . . .

According to Merriam Webster at www.merriam-webster.com a TURD: 1. sometimes vulgar: a piece of fecal matter. 2 a contemptible person. We are obviously using the second definition and are pretty sure you know someone who fits the bill. Join us in showing contempt for the contemptible. The turd is chocolate, the card is paper, its wrapped in cellophane with a pretty red ribbon, and arrives anonymously.

Please choose your turd, like we said, we prefer with peanuts. Its a nice effect. Though, the standard steamer is perfectly fine and gets the point across just as well. Place your order and we will get it out as soon as possible it generally takes a few days, sometimes a little longer if we get backed up (pun intended). No need to worry, if your turd doesn’t ship you don’t pay.

Chocolate steamer is our namesake turd for all occasions. This turd is finely crafted from chocolate and available with or without peanuts, just choose from the drop box. Perfectly safe and delicious though we find most people won’t eat chocolate shaped like poop. The turd is delivered with our signature card, a logo sticker, the chocolate poop, and your vengeful (albeit cheeky) spirit.

Note: Some people are allergic to nuts. We do not take responsibility for shipping nuts to those people nor do we condone intentionally using your order to inflict serious harm. Its your responsibility to know your turd and act accordingly. Thanks.