I finally got my kids back. You know how the minute you pick up the phone the kids are there? “Mom, I need to know the meaning of life and I need to know NOW!!”

If they aren’t begging for your undivided attention, then they are marching around like a Sousa band in the background. The net result is a phone conversation peppered with covert parental threats to “Keep it down or else!” or the injection of inappropriate bodily sounds from the children every time you …