For those of you blessed with 57 channels and an expensive new bird roost on your roof, allow me to share what you’re missing on broadcast television at one o’clock in the morning.

There are people steaming things, people using ladders as origami performance art, people learning how to sniff out desperate homeowners, and one very enthusiastic 35-year-old Eagle Scout selling the GREATEST… VITAMIN… in the WORLD!

It’s a movable feast of electronic hucksterism. But wait, there’s more. If you read this in the next 10 minutes, I’ll knock off one paragraph absolutely free …