A press release, just in from the North Pole, has shaken the globe. The release indicates Mr. S. Claus has submitted his resignation unless his demands are met. The text of Claus’s submission follows:

“Effective immediately, I submit my resignation as CEO of Claus Enterprises. I am tired of working 365 days a year and I demand triple overtime for working any February 29th. In the future, I want weekends off and a three-week paid vacation each summer.

And no more Mr. Fat and Jolly. My doctor has been warning me about hypertension and high cholesterol. My New Year’s Resolution for last year was to lose 60 pounds and I am half way to my goal …