Each person is born into this world with seemingly unlimited potential. I have recently been sorting through my life and have come across this whole wad of unused POTENTIAL. I was one of those who had the oodles of POTENTIAL — genetics provided me with the POTENTIAL intellectual gifts beyond comprehension. My career path could really have been anything, from bee farmer to astronaut, or both and everything in between. The world truly was my oyster and all I had to do was reach just a smidgeon of my POTENTIAL to be an incomparable success.

Alas, I didn’t. You see, making use of POTENTIAL is apparently a CHOICE one has to make for herself, and I didn’t do that. I followed what I was told, I did all I was supposed to do. At some point upon becoming an adult, where control of one’s own POTENTIAL is transferred, without any pomp and circumstances (and no cash gifts) from parent to child, something was forgotten. I had other things on my mind. I have no idea what those things were, but I’m sure they were INCREDIBLY important at the time.

So I continued through life weaving my way around, utterly unaware of my POTENTIAL just packed away collecting dust there next to the other wads of missed opportunities, the ships passing in the night and stopping only briefly to refuel as they steamed on past my existence. Opportunity probably knocked, but I was in one of my dark goth phases, so I ignored the door, assuming it was yet another pompous esoterical wannabe friend who was beneath me.

Years passed and I continued weaving through life. Never finding that one thing I would be able to use my POTENTIAL for. I was a phenomenal researcher, but without a topic of interest. A great writer, but no subject appealed to me. A huge sense of humor with a death grip fear of public speaking. A tone deaf lover of music. An inventor without technical skills or ability, a skilled scientist with an incomprehensible lack of interest in detail, a legal wiz with an utter lack of respect for authority, complete lack of patience, and endless frustration at the disparity between logic and law eliminated that option.

No, perhaps one day I would find a use for my POTENTIAL, but for now, I’ll save it …–And there it lies, this wonderful wad of unused POTENTIAL, hidden under the mattress getting no light, air or use.

I have therefore chosen to offer for sale the right to use over 35 years of actual unused POTENTIAL Not a LICK of it was ever used. Nothing, nada, zip, zero. Still in it’s original packaging. Don’t believe me? Trust me, ask my mother … I haven’t used ANY of it. Did I even take a teensy bit of my POTENTIAL and apply it? Nope. Not one little bit. How can you be SURE it’s completely unused? How’s this … all this POTENTIAL, all this creativity, talent, intellect, opportunity … and what do I do? I’m a project manager for a web company is East Butt, USA. Who aspires to that as a kid????

RETURN POLICY:
You’ve GOT to be kidding. Did you really think I’d offer to take back this potential? I’ve had enough grief holding on to it this long and not using it, so now you’d want to return it? Get real, that’s just ridiculous.

CONDITION:
If you sat on your excessive potential for as long as I did, do you really think you wouldn’t smoke like a chimney too? Any expectation that this would not be exposed to smoke, pets, spittle, bodily fluids, profanity, extreme weather conditions and other undesirable elements is unwarranted and not supported in this description.

GUARANTEE:
This POTENTIAL is not guaranteed to be successful as you will have the ability and free will to apply it and apply it properly. I sure didn’t, that’s why I’m selling it. I am not responsible for the inability or lack of ambition to apply said POTENTIAL.

DISCLAIMERS:
This transfer does not include any royalties, income or successes that may or may not have occurred during the first 35 years of my life; it entitles the user ONLY to the POTENTIAL, and nothing whatsoever tangible or claim rights to anything that has occurred or will occur in my life.