Three-Year-Old Apple of My Eye Sweet Baby Girl: “Mommy, can I sleep in your bed?”

Exhausted Mother of Four: “No, honey, you have to sleep in your bed.”

Apple: “There’s scary shadows on the wall.”

Me: “Do you want me to turn out your night light?”

Apple: “No, then it will be dark and I’m SCARED of the dark!”

Me: “Your night light is what is making the shadows.”

Apple: “If you turn it out, the shadows will still be there but then I can’t see them and then it will be MORE SCARIER!” (tears)

Me: “If you don’t sleep in your room with your sister she will miss you.”

Apple: “She’s SNORING!”

Me: “Can you sleep in your big sister’s room upstairs?”

Apple: “She told me to leave because I was TALKING TOO MUCH!”

Me:

Apple: “Can’t I just sleep in your bed OOONNE TIIIMME?”

Dad: (snores)

Me: “You slept here last night and you promised you would sleep in your bed tonight and Mommy’s so tired, honey, can’t you just please sleep in your own bed?”

Apple: “I ALREADY TRIED AND I CAN’T SLEEEEEEP!”

Me:

Apple: “I will just get my purple blankie and lay with you just for a minute, ok, Mommy?”

Me: “How about if I take you to McDonalds for breakfast if you sleep in your bed tonight?”

Apple: “I can’t sleep in my room because I think there is an ANT IN THERE and SCARY SHADOWS and I CAN’T SLEEP!!” (tears)

(8 month old baby boy begins to cry)

Me: “Mommy will take you to the dollar store in the morning and let you pick out anything you want if you sleep in your bed tonight, ok, honey?”

Apple: “I will just lay here for a minute while you get Bobby.”

Me: (nudging Dad): “Can you get me the Tylenol PM?”

Dad: (grumbles): “How many?”

Me: “6 for me, and then figure out what the dose is for an 8 month old and a 3 year old.”

Apple: (snores in parents’ bed)

(Mom, red-eyed, snoozily nurses baby while three year old and Dad continue snoring next to her. Mom looks at clock which reads 5:58 am)

10 year old daughter enters: “MOM! It’s time to wake up!