I Kn txt. Kn U?

Even though I’m past the modern girl age, I know the current skill of text messaging on my cell phone.

Actually, I’ve been texting for the past 50 years.

Everyone thinks my plastic brain has learned a new task, but little do they know that the deep ruts of learning text messaging started decades ago in grade school. I was the worst speller in my class. If they’d created a spelling bee for the challenged, I’d place first for the most misspelled words.

My bfg thinks she’s taught me the cell phone texting ropes. Nope. In second grade, the Scotts Foresman reading series where Dick shouts, “See Spot run,” rejected my attempts at reading and spelling.

I was not the traditional speller. Take constant blends for instance: I recognized there was an easier way to learn this new information. Why throw out all kinds of different spellings for one sound and confuse young minds. One sound says it all and the sound can be spelled with one letter, such as “R.” R can stand for a myriad of consonant blends.

Why burden kids with variables? ER=R, AR=R, UR=R, IR=R, OR=R. Just use the letter R, like a text messenger does.

I should have enlightened my grade school teacher about this precursor to texting, early on.

In all modesty, like Al Gore who invented the internet, I think I invented this current communication rage. General Grant, another challenged speller, might have inspired texting with his shorthand, OK, that he thought stood for All Correct, but I took it from there.

K. I didn’t think up the part where numbers replace letters. The number, 2, is part of the texting scheme. I can say a word with a number. It sounds the same. 2-two, to, too. 4- for, fore, B4. 8- ate, G8. Kinda like computer lingo of 1s and 2s. But, hey, the manufactures of cell phone keyboards goofed up. KUZ they didn’t include an EZ symbol option or fun shapes. A heart shape easily stands for love. So, the combo of a heart shape and the letter U is an easy choice for love you. And, what about those e-mail emotion symbols? Intrgr8 m 2. 😉

Phonetic-types, those who replaced Dick and Jane sight learning, gave lucky grade-schoolers a thumps up. “Sound it out,” was their cry. “Write it like it sounds.” So that’s what’s happening these days. The next logical spelling step towards the concise science of messaging: Texting. A nu langich 4 por spelrs, slamfest poets, retired signal flaggers and Morse Coders.