I think that I shall never see
a booger that was so dangle-ly

It all happened this one time
right before I turned nine

While walking home from school one day
It was too hot to stop and play

My nose it had the strangest twitch
So I put my finger in
Just to itch

Well, a booger stuck on my finger when I pulled it out
and when I saw it, I wanted to shout!

It must have hung clear down to my knees
(I never would have caught this one if I had sneezed)

I stood awhile and just stared
I think I’ll keep him
Or do I dare?
“I think I’ll name you” is what I said,
“You’re long and skinny,
Like my Uncle Fred”

So Fred and I bounced through my back gate,
We heard Mom yell, “Son, why are you so late?”

If I wanted Fred to live
I had to hide him
So I did

I pulled my shorts way out wide
And there I placed him
Right inside

It was dinner,then it was bed
I took my shorts off slowly, and whispered “goodnight”
to Fred.

In the morning when I reached to find
Fred was gone!
I lost my mind

There’s only one place that he could be
Mom took my shorts
To the washing machine!

I ran and found them washed and dried
I was almost nine but I wanted to cry

I got the courage
And I peeked inside

It was what I had dread
I took one look
There was no Fred

I think that I shall never see
A booger that was so dangle-ly

I’m just saying though
If you do
I wouldn’t hide it in my shorts
If I were you.