Analysis and Critique

I’m good at some things and terrible at others. I can’t sing and I can’t cook. I know enough to refrain from the first and to keep the second as simple as possible. I’m good with my hands and I can do a lot of things that other people cannot. I can upholster a sofa, I can hang wallpaper, and I can refinish furniture. But I count on my fingers when I balance my checkbook.

That said. I now consider God’s talents. He’s also better at some things than others. Mountains, rivers, waterfalls, sunsets, tropical plants and birds, puppies; these are clearly his unparalleled talents. Human anatomy is a little closer to my singing. Consider that, according to the Great Book, he practiced first with all the animals. He made little animals and big animals before he branched out into the people kind.

He still didn’t get it right. There seems to be a little confusion with mating. With animals he tried two different systems. Swans and geese mate for life; lions, on the other hand, roam the savannah to seek as many eligible ladies as they can. With humans, clearly both systems are in use and socially or matrimonially, that doesn’t work.

Men were made bigger and stronger to protect and provide for the child-bearers. Women are smaller but tend to be a bit wider at the bottom to produce the child. It is a subtle oversight, but by my logic, that job done, women should revert to the smaller, more delicate proportions. Did God ever consider vanity?

There is also a statistical miscalculation. Eighty-seven percent of the women he created love to dance. Nine percent of men have either the ability or the desire. This far exceeds the standard deviation. Poor God, he never had anyone to dance with and neither do I.

One devilish detail is the junction of the air pipe and the food pipe, with just a tiny little flap to keep the food for one out of the other. Poor design. Now we are dependent on Dr. Heimlich to save us from choking.

Now we come to more serious physical considerations. If his concern was to have us multiply to be “as numerous as the stars in the heavens,” then why did he combine the parts that deal with this along with other functions? An eye just works as an eye. Teeth just work as teeth. A knee is a knee; an elbow an elbow. How is it good planning that the function of liquid drainage is also tacked onto the production parts?

If you think this causes problems, just think of the commercials you have to listen to as you are eating dinner. The problems are so frequent that just the initials are enough to convey them. UTI is all that need be said. The same with E.D. We all seem to have our share of difficulty with our equipment. Frequently, if it works for one thing, it doesn’t work for the other.

What could be more important than these two things? Would it have been that much work to create one more part? Maybe simply one less finger or one less toe and then a separate part for….. If I were a science teacher, I’d give a D+ for this project. “Go back and get it right and have the paper on my desk by Monday.” Perhaps the weekend was the problem. It was almost the Sabbath and he had two jobs left, so he quickly combined the two and was done.

And so in seven days he created heaven and earth and all in it, or on it. He seems to have had a thing for sevens. Remember the seven lean years and seven years of plenty and of course the seven deadly sins?

What was the hurry? I could have waited another day. Would rainbows be any less impressive if he took eight days to do it? Would you be less impressed at the wonders of the universe if it said, “In eight days, he made heaven and earth”

I already told you that I count on my fingers, so another day of creation would help me quite a bit. With an even number of days in the week, I could figure out the half-way point if I wanted to wash my hair or change the sheets twice a week.

He didn’t have to rush for me. I’d be happier if he had taken another day and gotten it right.