Being a minister and a nurse has afforded me the opportunity to be around a lot of small talk regarding the Almighty. Usually people just whisper their displeasure. Some folks I run into are denying the existence of a mighty powerful figure aka G -O –D. The Jews write it G-D, as to not really mention the whole name for fear of upsetting a certain supreme being.
Others ask,” Why isn’t God paying me a higher salary? Or,”Why is God giving me an outdated disease?” Mostly it comes in the form of an Anglo Saxon curse. I don’t mean to spread any rumors or get into gossip. I am just questioning if there is any truth to what I heard.

At one point in my life I decided, “If there wasn’t a God, I would create one.” Why should I bear the entire blame of anything when I can pass the proverbial” buck” to a Higher Power? Either way, Deity worship was already created bazillion years ago. My mission is no longer to question God’s existence. I only have to question The Dude in Heaven’s (TDIH’s) job performance skill here on earth. Don’t you ever question a Boss??????

The most recent and obvious” chit chat” on the block is: God has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. (DSM-IV-TR 301.81).
The professional and or impromptu counselor in you might be thinking: Really, you think so? You have to have at least 5 out of 9 basic criteria or symptoms to really have this disorder. Everyone knows that.

Consider the words of the Old and New Testament:
• So God Created humankind in his image (This is a no brainer. Can anyone get any more conceited and puffed up than to do something like that???)

• I am the Lord your God, a jealous God. (Gosh, God is even admitting jealousy and implying envy)

• For our God is greater than other Gods (This shows certain arrogance and haughtiness… I bet you have a family member just like this, on your wife’s side?)

• Our God is the God of Salvation (Once again… thinks he/she is the ONLY one who can rescue you from your problems…talk about co-dependence….)

• You cannot serve God and wealth (This truly is an unreasonable expectation and lacks empathy for us poor suckers. Of course you can do both…look at TV Evangelists)

• No one is good but God Alone (Interpersonally exploitive, do you think?!? If we are to believe this, there certainly is an over the top grandiose sense of self importance.)

• Do not follow other Gods (Helloooo? Do I smell “Requiring excessive admiration?”?)

Well, there are 6 symptoms right here in 7 examples. Does anyone else see a problem?

And what about the cautionary words “Do not test the Lord our God…”

If we are children of God, isn’t that the worst thing you can say to a kid. Especial those of the adolescent mind like me. Of course I am going to test God… isn’t that what parents are for? Hasn’t God heard about reverse psychology? If you tell a kid NOT to do something… it’s a guarantee he or she will do exactly the opposite. Gee, how stupid can a deity get?

Combining different religions into one stew pot, “New Ager’s” often come up with “We are one with everything.” I imagine that if a 473-lb. man sat on a $55 IKEA chair… the chair and I would both be having excruciating pressure, pain and hemorrhoids. I have never seen a chair with hemorrhoids, but it can’t be pretty.

Consider when people swear. If we are truly “One with the father” then I might as well take my own name in vain such as “ Deb Dammit” when I forget to pluck my single nose hair or back into my friend’s car parked in the driveway.

Then there is the matter of “going to hell.” People, who talk about others going to hell, obviously have never experienced menopause. The only exception would be the men that have lived with a woman during this time in her life. He has felt the wrath, the fury and the heat. These men get special dispensation.

Thanks to all who read this and let me vent. Really vent, because it seems that it is a little hotter than usual sitting in my chair and lightening just struck the tree outside. Just missed me, too. Hmmm?