Our kids were out of the house on sleepovers, so my wife and I did what any other normal, healthy couple would do under such circumstances. We went for a nice dinner, a beautiful stroll along the beach, and then we went home and enjoyed some wild, unprotected swearing.

You can only go so long without a little profanity. It was great. We cursed and yelled with complete abandon. It was invigorating and wonderful.

Having kids around all the time makes it easy to lose touch with your bad words. It’s difficult to make time for just the two of us and some salty vocabulary. We have found it helpful in our marriage to reserve good fulmination time for each other.

We couldn’t help ourselves this night as our pent up need for cursing overwhelmed us. When we got home we had a few drinks to loosen up our inhibitions, then we carried on like teenagers, ‘doing it’ on the stairs, in the kitchen, the living room, and of course, our bedroom. Bathroom too. It had been a while…

We referred to the dictionary to, you know, spice things up a little. Logging onto the internet, we even watched some of ‘those’ types of videos: George Carlin…Chris Rock…

It was wild.

We held nothing back from each other.

We became as one as the air turned blue.

Our pleasure was all the more invigorating in that we ‘did it’ really loudly. With no kids to unduly influence we went a little crazy. It felt so…free.

No need to close doors or whisper. No hints or spelled-out words like we usually do in front of the kids. This was pure, wild foul-mouthing of the best sort.

A good swearing session does wonders for our relationship. Not using the curse words we would like to use about traffic, neighbors, and bosses is very stressful.

Oh sure, getting cut off in traffic is helpful, as is dropping an anvil on your foot, but these swearing moments are brief and unfulfilling.

Having your children ‘catch you in the act’ can be embarrassing but not necessarily damaging. I left the workshop door open one time and, having nailed two of my fingers together, I was in mid-profanity string when my son entered. I don’t know if he will be traumatized into becoming a doctor now instead of a carpenter, but I do know his eyes were wide and it wasn’t just from the words I was using. Just be careful and take appropriate precautions such as locking the door where you might be doing it and your kids should be fine.

So send the kids outside and have at it. It feels good! It’s liberating! It’s probably good for the economy!

If profanity doesn’t make you feel better, you can always try having sex. It feels pretty good too.