Recently, the U.S. Supreme Court declared that corporations are people, can donate money to political campaigns, and thus, remind the American public that politicians are even a lower breed of human than CEO’s.

To quell ongoing complaints about the decision, legal authorities have released the following exchange between two major firms to bolster the case that corporations are people:

MBX Motherboards e-mail (e-m) to the UV Chip Corporation:

MBX: “We just heard from BB computers that you were thinking of buying OUR product from some upstart Mexican mother-board maker. Is the BB Corporation spreading rumors again?

UV e-m: “Our lawyers have informed us that the BB Corporation: ‘possesses a big mouth’. We have taken the decision to halt shipments of our generation 4 chips to their company; until they admit it and apologize.”

MBX e-m: “So it’s true, UV Chips are not buying from us anymore.”

UNV e-m: “Our planning board informs us: ‘it’s not true.’ But you know, we have been thinking. The tone of your recent e-mails make us at the UV Corporation think, that you don’t value our business as much as you used to. What have we ever done to you?

Also, our purchase managers have the following message:
PLeaaase tell your sales force to be nicer when presenting those dork-brain power-point slides to our purchase department”

MBX e-m: “It IS true. Liar. You said you would sign a 5 year purchase contract. Now you admit you don’t like the MBX Corporation anymore.”

UV e-m: “We said, we were thinking of signing a 5 year contract. But now that you call our corporation a liar, NO way UV is going to buy anymore motherboards from the MBX Corporation. After all we did for you? Who put in the first order for ten thousand MBX motherboards and then gave your engineers frosted doughnuts?

P.S. Our lawyers informs us that: ’We have been soo nice.’
And now, you call us a liar.”
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Letter from MBX to UV Chips:

“To whom it may concern:

“Maybe, the MBX Corporation does think the UV Corporation is made up of liars. Or maybe the MBX Corporation does not think the UV Corporation is made up of liars. How can anyone at the UV Chips tell what we, at the MBX Corporation, think?

Sincerely,
MBX Motherboard Corporation

P.S. “If UV Chips is spying on us, then it all makes sense.”

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UV e-m: “What makes sense? “

MBX e-m: “The way UV engineers, have been going around acting up like they are the only engineers who know about motherboards in the whole universe.”

UV e-m: “Our legal affairs office informs us that, ‘our engineers are nice’”.

MBX e-m: “Your engineers walk around like they are the center of every computer that was ever made.”

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UV letter to MBX MotherBoards:

“To whom it may concern:
UV Chips doesn’t know what’s got into the MBX Corporation. We suggest MBX management take a little summer leave, play a little ping pong, evade some taxes, and chill out.

Sincerely,
UV Chips”
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MBX e-m: “Don’t tell the MBX Corporation how to chill.”

UV e-m: “We just are helping you get back on your feet.”

MBX: “We are on our feet.”

U-V e-m: “You are wobbling on one foot.”

MBX e-m: “feet”.

UNV e-m: “foot”

MBX: “Rock”

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Letter from the UV Chips to MBX Mother Boards:

“To whom it may concern:
Our lawyers inform us the correct term is: ’Paper’

Sincerely: UV Chips”
**************************************************

MBX e-m: “scissors”
PS. Now, does this get us a purchase contract?

UV e-m: “You know what the BB Computers did?”

MBX e-m:“No, what?“

UNV: “They ran ads boasting that OUR chips were inside everyone of THEIR crummy computers. We were SOOOOO embarrassed. So we like, did not even want to talk to you or any corporation anymore.”

MBX e-m: “No way!”

UNV e-m: “That’s when we noticed that your e-mail’s had that awful tone.”

MBX e-m: “Why didn’t you tell the MBX Corporation? We did not know you were hurting.”
**************************************************

Letter from UV Chips to the MBX Corporation

“Our lawyers inform us:
‘We were too embarrassed to tell anyone’

Sincerely
UV Chips”
**************************************************

MBX: e-m: “Now, will you sign a five year contract?”

UV e-m: “If you don’t tell anyone what we said.”

MBX e-m: “Best friends swear, we will send a sales-force over tomorrow. Hang in there.”

UV e-m: ”Love, your business.”

MBX e-m: “Love your business too. Bye Bye”