There’s an old saying that goes, “Everybody could stand to lose ten pounds.” This is typically followed up with another old saying: “Please pass the chocolate-covered fat.”

In the summertime, as thousands flock to beaches — or to theaters to watch movies about people flocking to beaches — the fitness craze really begins to heat up. (So, incidentally, do metaphors about things heating up).

I began going to a gym regularly when I got to college. I used to …